thedarkharlequin

The ultimate in outsourcing:

Mental Health Outsourcing

I was depressed last night, so I called Lifeline
I got a call center in Pakistan
I told them I was suicidal
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this effing sweater!"

A child killer is leading his latest victim through the woods to his special spot. It's very late and the woods are dark and scary. On the way, the kid, only 6 years old says, "I'm scared" to which the predator says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone".