thedarkharlequin

for some reason, I have been incredibly stressed lately. Feeling just constantly on the edge. Toss in some guitar hero to piss me off, and I took my walking cane to my room. Nothing broken, stress is mildly relieved. I'm going to stop playing guitar hero for a bit.

I went through a bunch of anger management courses in the military. All they ever did was piss me off, because the instructors of these courses, were people who had anger problems, and were being punished for some stupid act.

The weird thing is, I have always had this incredible temper, and I have never been in a fight in my life. I've never hit anyone out of anger. I'm generally very passive, and even if it pisses me off, just slide on by. One might say passive to a fault really.

A random guy at a party I went to once head butted me square in the teeth. split my lip and made it bleed. I still have scar tissue on the back of my lip from it. Did I hit the guy, no. I yelled at him, then didn't want to ruin the party, so I just walked off. Of all times when I would have been justified in beating someone up, I walked away.

I fantasized about hitting him repeatedly with a cinder block later. The insult of being hit, and the personal humiliation for my lack of action.

I think I might kill someone someday, or myself.



so now I'm gonna drink some koolaid, eat some cake, and watch a cartoon, and go to bed.