theburningred

continues yet again...
The 6 levels of hangovers

* 1 star hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a
mere disco nap, which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy.
Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are
still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are
craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.

** 2 star hangover
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but
you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is
only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and
fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wreaked
upon your bowels.

*** 3 star hangover
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of
the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd
you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a
dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4
cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3
Snapples and a liter of diet coke-yet you haven't peed once.

**** 4 star hangover
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly
or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being
late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice
clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot
shaving,(girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper
cars.) Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like
a reject from the class picture of Grover Cleveland HS, class of '84.

***** 5 star hangover, aka "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell."
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually
annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of
every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners
of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the
shit fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your
tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely
don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there
is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house.

****** 6 star hangover
Otherwise known as the "Infinite Nut smacker" You wake up on your
bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the
cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from 5
hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow
managed to getup before you. You try to lift your head. Not an option. Then you
inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of
cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra
lights...some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was
your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the
stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop your forehead......the stamp on the back of
your hand that has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You
have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing you
can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers.

Yet drinking SEEMS like a good idea...

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continues once more...

why is it on my hangover day at work the girl sitting next to me decides to bring in her bratty-ass 5 year old in?

don't get me wrong, i love kiddies, but man oh man this kid is terrible!...i'm ready to jump out the window right now!
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continues....

so i guess my attempt last night to stay indoors was futile... now i'm tired, need some advil, and i think everyone would look at me funny if i wore my sunglasses around the office...


so what's goin on? think i'll be on here on and off all day to keep me awake and entertained....

tell me your best joke... (i could use a good laugh)
even better... drop me a picture with your replies!


my lyrics for the day (page)



we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go (and never let go)
i'll never let go (i'll never let go)
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words
cause i, i don't want to make things
and i, i don't want to make things any worse


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...shoot me now!