Ok...
So... Um...
Yeahhhhh.... about that...
My Roommate's in.... prison? :confusedface:
11:15pm, Monday August 2nd 2010
Inside the small apt unit, The Roommate walks up the stairs, hefting her large frame with every step.
The 45years she's been alive have not been kind to her. People see this in her small, close-eyed face. The beady eyes that offer a glance of adult misunderstanding, completely opposite the childlike look of simply not knowing, dart about in a strangely nonchalant manner.
Me: Hey
The Roommate: hey
Me: Going somewhere?
Her: oh, yeah... i'm heading out for a bit, but i'll be right back.
This simple mistatement can be made by anyone, heading out for a bit implies being gone for a period of time somewhere, but being right back means that you're heading straight home. Maybe she should have said that that she'll be right back, but she's heading out for a while.
Dressed in jeans and a tight black wind breaker with a little black backpack on her back, the straps running as far as they can around her frame, she looks like Max Rebo from star wars wrapped inside of a Human Suit. Minus the large trunk of course.
She heads down the stairs and out the door.
I continue playing Red Dead Redemption, shootin' fools and chewing ter-backey.
-Cut to earlier that day-
Me: Hey, so you're going to have that $50 for me today right? I told you on Saturday that I had to have it by Monday because it'd make me $50 short for rent...
The Roommate: Um... well... Oh, Ok, yeah, I'm waiting to hear back from my work. Um... they were supposed to get me a check today for this deal that I closed.
(She sells ad spaces on pharmacy bags)
Me: ok, so you're not going to have it today?
The Roommate: Oh, Um... yeah, so my work was supposed to cut me a check and get it to me for this deal that i closed
(you said that already)
but they didn't send it in time so i don't have it today, but it should clear by tomorrow so i can definitely get that $50 to you by then!
(wait what?)
Me: Ok, so you'll have that $50 for me tomorrow, because I HAVE to pay rent, and I can't be late.
The Roommate: Oh yeah, not a problem, i'll definitely have it!
(Cut to the previous week)
Exterior: The apartment complex has two driveways, separated by the mailbox with it's 24 mailboxes and outgoing and rent drop boxes, after that running just about halfway back into the complex is a small garden type setting with trees and flowers, a small potted plant area and a nice tiled space with a large BBQ in it.
The Apt Manager is watering some plants as I walk out to check the mail.
Me: Hey, how's it going?
Apt Mgr: Oh Hey! how are you? It's going good, the construction business is starting to pick up, so I'm getting a little more work done here and there.
Me: Oh that's good
(polite banter about work and construction being a good sign of the overall economy etc)
Apt Mgr; So hey.... Uh, how's everything in there?
Me: Hm? Oh, with The Roommate? yeah, things are ok, I mean, you know, she's a little weird but other than that no major complaints. haha why?
Apt Mgr: Oh, that's good, yeah, nothing really, she's just kinda behind on rent and you know, I was just wondering how things were going, whether she was stressed or anything.
Me: oh, um, no not really stressed I mean she spends all day in her room working, so i really don't get that much interaction with her, but no, things SEEM ok, should I be worried or something?
Apt Mgr: oh well, I dunno, I've been at this long enough to see the signs you know. I mean, she's a couple grand behind on rent sooo, I've seen people ditch before and I just wouldn't want you to get caught up in that.
Me: A couple grand? really? wow, ok, That i didn't know, that's probably why she wanted me paying HER the $600 rent instead of you guys... huh, ok well. I'll keep an eye out I guess...
Apt Mgr: Oh, no, no worries, you don't have to do anything, I was just wondering, and you know, I can talk to the Landlord and see if they're cool with you staying for a month at just your rent until you find another roommate in case she does split so, yeah, i mean just keep an eye out for yourself, don't get blindsided by her ditching sometime in the middle of the night.
Me: ok, cool, thanks, yeah, I'll talk to some friends and see if anyone wants to move! Talk to you later!
Apt Mgr: ok, yeah, Later!
11:44pm Monday August 2nd 2010
My phone rings.
Me: Hello?
The Roommate: Hey, Luke? It's me.
Me: ... Yeah?
The Roommate: Um, so... I kinda need you to do me a Huge Favor... Um, so apparantly, I didn't know there was a Warrant out for my arrest in Tuolumne County. Um, so, Uh, I kinda need you to come down here and get my car and stuff, um, cause they might need me to go to jail.
Me:.... What.
The Roommate: Yeah, I had no idea that there was a warrant out for my arrest in Tuolumne County, I mean I went to the court and cleared up the DUI and I thought that was it. Um, so can you come down to the end of street, i'm right there you know, where, you know, the street, um, meets the other street and that's where my car is, that's where I am.
There should be a cop car and they're running my file now to see if they have to take me or not so, can you just come down and get the car and my stuff please?
Me: So, wait, are they taking you to jail? are they arresting you?
The Roommate: Um.... I don't know, they're checking right now, can you just come down and get my stuff? I'd really appreciate it.
__ The way she speaks isn't normal for someone who just got pulled over and was told they have a warrant out for their arrest. It's not, omfg omfg omfg what the F is going on, what do you mean warrant? It's; Oh, ok, well let me call my roommate so you don't tow my shit because i know that when i'm going to get arrested for having this warrant you're going to tow my shit, so can you just come get my shit so it doesnt get towed. now?__
Me: Uh, i guess, i'll walk down there, if they don't arrest you i hope you'll see me on the road though (there's no street lights)
Exterior: Pitch Black, a few shard of light pierce the night from shuttered windows, the trail next to me, usually full of bustle and hustle joggers and fake-ass tour-de-walnut-creekers biking their medicated hearts out now sits quiet and unused, perfect for the night life to take full advantage of and scurry about making the type of silent noise that is usually only found in the creepy forests...
I walk down to the end of my street, turn left and head to the main road, already i can see the cop lights, not flashing, just on. and there's two of them. Ok, well, now what... guess there's nothing to do but walk up to the cop and say hi.
Me: Hi.
Cop: You Luke?
Me: Um, yeah...
Cop: Your roommate said you'd be coming to get her car, keys are here, there's groceries in the back and her purse is there for you to take in to the house.
Me: oh, ok... um, anything else?
Cop: Nope, Officer blahblahblah here will be driving you back to make sure you make it, uh, if there's anything else you can talk to her in the back here...
Me: Nope.
Cop: OK, have a good night
>Gets in car and takes off<
Other cop that's supposed to follow me back home: Cool.
>Gets in car and takes off the other way<
Me: Uh-huh... :Confused Face:
>Gets in car, starts engine, doesnt think it's on, turns it over while it's already on, takes off down the street, realizes the foot pedal e-brake is still on halfway there and finally makes it home mostly in one piece 2 1/2 minutes later<
Me: What the fuck, glad that's over.
I come inside, drop her stuff outside her door, take the groceries upstairs and go back to my video games, tell my friend online "See, what had happened was" and all that then call my gf to tell her the craziness of the night... oh if I only knew at that point in time...
Me: Hey cutie, how was your day?
Gf: Hey! my day sucked! Work kicked my ass. but it's better now :Winkyface:
(random bf/gf talk for 45 mins)
Me: Sooo, I'm looking forward to this weekend when you get back...
Gf: Mmm, yeah me too, I can't wait to see you, I had A LOT of fun this weekend (*giggle noise*)
Me: Yeah, I did too (*knowing wink face*)
***Moment of heavy breathing and excited talk of the weekend to come***
BEEP
I tear the phone from my ear, not so much frustrated that someone would be calling at this time of night, my friends do that all the time but more so that it's right in the middle of a conversation like... that.
It's a number I don't recognize... It's a 925 number I don't recognize. I know 925 numbers and no one that I know from 925 would be calling me this late unless they needed something.
And the only person I know who needs something right now is The Roommate.
At this point, I have a moral dilemma facing me:
Do I Answer the call?
Do I Not Answer the call?
In all honesty, I have NO IDEA what number that is. It could be anyone, IN FACT, just earlier that day I had received a wrong call from a number I didn't recognize.
But I know. I KNOW it's her!! IT HAS TO BE HER... Why. why does it have to be her?
Why do i have to answer? I don't, i could just not pick this up and continue talking with my gf... I could have myself a real good night. I could make my gf's night better, especially after the shitty day she's had.
SO, do I answer or don't I?
of course this all takes mere seconds to run through my head over and over until finally
Me: Hey babe, i gotta take this, it's probably The Roommate calling from jail, she probably only has one call, so I'll call you right back ok??
Gf: *laughs* ok, no problem, good luck!
Me: Ha! thanks, later.
>switch calls<
Me: Hel--
Phone: This is an automated call from MARTINEZ police station, to accept this call press 0 and wait, to decline this call press 9 and
*0*
(sigh, i knew it)
Me: Hell--
Phone: Hello?
Me: .... yeah?
The Roommate: Luke? It's me, um, hey, so they arrested me.
(no shit)
The Roommate: Hey, um thanks for getting my car, um, did you get get the groceries and everything?
Me: yeah, i got them
The Roommate: Oh, ok good!, um, so i'm in here and waiting for fingerprints and they said that apparently according to the judge's warrant or something, they, um, they can hold me for like 5 days for the Tuolumne county police to come get me, so uh, they won't let me go.
Me: Uh-huh, ok
The Roommate: Hey, um, I'm sorry to be asking you this, uh, but could you do me another favor?
Her voice rises in pitch with each word like a child asking for candy that she knows she shouldn't have.
Me: Sure, what's up
The Roommate: Um, could you, um, if I give you the number for my work, could you, um, call them, uh, and ask, i mean tell them that um, you know, the court in Tuolumne County issued a warrant for my arrest, um they know about my DUI, uh and that I'm in martinez right now and uh, i could be here for 5 days, I don't know.
Me: ok, did the cops say anything about what could happen? or why they pulled you over? or whether you can post bail or something?
The Roommate: Um, no, uh, I don't know if i can post bail or not, like i said i'm just waiting here for fingerprints right now and i'm not sure what's going on right now, I mean, i've never been in trouble, i've never been arrested, i don't know what's going on.
Of course, this is all said matter of factly. There's no fear in her voice, a sort of lightheartedness maybe, a little nervous chuckle? or is that stupidity... Can't tell with her.
Me: Ok, so what's the number for work, who do i talk to, what do i tell them
She proceeds to give me a 1800 number for her work.
Then tells me to talk to someone in accounting. At 9am.
Tell them she's in jail for 5 days and will call asap.
Then she tell me to call this guy she knows from high school (don't forget she's 46 now) and that she met once since then..... last week.... when he came over at 12am... AM... for meatloaf... ... ... yeah. that's right.
But He's a cop.
The Roommate: If you could call him for me.... i'll give you his number.
Me: Ok.... what do i say to him?
The Roommate: Uh, Um, Uh.... well.... um.... just uh..... Tell him what I told you.
Me: WHAT?
The Roommate: UM, and tell him that, uh, I won't be able to see him for a while...
Me: ok, so like, 5 days a while or never again?
The Roommate: Oh, um, just, uh, tell him that I won't be able to see him for a while...
__Yeah i got that part, fuck calling this guy, i'm just gonna text him__
Oh yeah, then she asks me to call her parents, now this I'm not opposed to. and not just because i want to hear all the berating things i can imagine some 80 year old man yelling into the phone about his failure of a daughter but, because i genuinely think that parents should be forewarned when their child goes to jail.
Me: Ok, what's your parents number?
The Roommate: Oh, Ummmm....
(YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME)
The Roommate: Uh, well i don't have that, so you're gonna have to uh,call information and get their number and call them
She then proceeds to fully spell out her Mom's name: PAT. but they don't have her last name (wtf?)... and then tells me what town they live in and that she didn't know about the court date, while somehow managing to sound kinda pissed at them, like it was some 80 year old persons fault that you didn't check your fucking mail for a Notice that you've got a warrant out for your arrest... that's what you get for having a P.O. Box.
So it's 1:15am by now, I've been on the phone way too long (a full 15 minutes) with the police dept in martinez and I'm like, ok, well ,yeah i'll try to call these people and see what i can do...
ok bye.
Finally, off the phone with her, ok, back to my life... call these people in the morning cool...
tell my friend over xbox live a short version and also mention the fact that she's about 2G's behind on rent and still owe's me $50 bucks for this months rent and he laughs his ass off, then I call my gf back and talk to her for a few minutes before GUESS WHAT!!
She calls again.
From Jail.
The Roommate: Hey, um, so I need you to call a couple of other people for me... um, so Astound, the cable company, um, yeah, i was supposed to make a payment tomorrow, so um, could you call them? That's A-S-T-O-U-N-D, and they do the internet and stuff just tell them that uh, i was um, in a car accident and that i'm not home and that i should be able to make a payment by um, the weekend... uh, and if you could call my mobile company to, uh, T-Mobile, That's T-M-O
Me: Yeah, i got that.
The Roommate: Oh! Ok, uhm, yeahh, and also if you could call Antioch Rent-A-Center and let them know that i was in a, um, car accident and that i can't make a payment until this weekend, talk to chris, he's nice...
Me: So all these were due tomorrow?
The Roommate: Yeah, um, they might shut off the cable and internet so make sure you call Astound before they do that...
Me: really. ok. (I can't F*cking believe this)
The Roommate: Um, did He ever text back? (the cop "friend")
Me: no.
So I hang up the phone, text my gf good night and text my friend to see if she's up b/c I KNOW she'll get a kick out of this, It's tooo good to NOT tell someone...
So i call my friend after she responds to the text and I start going over the whoooole story, start to finish and I'm going strong for a good 25 minutes when this 510 number calls... now 510 is right next to 925 as far as counties go and I'm pretty sure this from someone or something that has to do with this mounting pile of male cow feces i've been shoveled all night, so I answer and i hear:
Hi... Is this Luke?
me: Yeah...
Aladdin: So, Luke, um, I'm not sure if you're aware but your roommate has been arrested and is in jail...
(dramatic pause)
Me: Yeah, I know.
Aladdin: Oh (obviously surprised at my nonchalant answer).... well, um, she....(getting stride back) contacted us and gave us your number to call and see whether you would be able to bail her out of Jail, it's a thousand dollars for a $10,000 bail bond and we'd be happy to work with you if you think you be... able... to......
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry, I can't afford that right now.
Aladdin: ah... ok, well, thanks anyway.
Me: Sure thing!
>Switch calls<
Me: i really wish i could record my calls right now
Friend who now knows the whole story: Haha, what was that call about?
Me: Oh, just some bail bond calling to ask for $1000 to bail her ass out of jail.
Friend: Are you F*cking Serious?
Me:You know, I really wish my life was TiVo so i could just rewind and hit record and just have this one moment in time recorded to play back and laugh at the whole way...
Friend: Haha, yeah, you should really record all this somehow!
Me: Yeah! I should make a short film about this one moment... I'd win a friggin oscar. lol
BEEP
Me: Hold on, i don't believe this, she's calling me again, one second
>Switch calls<
Me: Yeah, what
The Roommate: Hey, um, Luke, uh, I was wondering, that, um, if you could, you know, if there was any way you could get a thousand dollars to bail me out of jail? I mean i'd get it RIGHT back to you as soon as my check from work clears and, um, you know, i'd REALLY appreciate it, uh, so , if you*
Me: NO. I am $50 short for rent, because I lent you $50 on Saturday which you said you'd get to me by Monday. That's ALL I have right now, there's NO WAY I can get you $1000 ok? I'm Sorry, but NO.
The Roommate: oh, um, ok, well, uh, here let me give you the number for a, um, bail bond, company that's just across the street here it's uh 510
Me: What? Why would I want their number? what is this number for?
The Roommate: Oh, well, um you know, just in case they call you it's 510-755
Me: They already called.
The Roommate: Oh.............. They did.... um.... oh.
Me: Yeah. Look, i'll call these people, but that's all i can do for now.
The Roommate: Oh, um, ok, well, yeah... Thanks, i appreciate you doing this for me. Did He ever text you back?
Me: Not yet.
So again, I hang up and talk with my friend for a little bit, we laugh at what a shit storm it is and how anyone could let their life get so fucked and make it this far.
So I start to relax a little and try to make sense of everything that's happened.
At abotu 145 i'd texted this cop friend of hers and told him what happened, he gets back to me around 3am
COPTXT: wow - that sucks. what did she get arrested for?
so i explain, a little more in detail: warrant, arrested, in jail, wanted me to text you.
COPTXT: Hmm- if toulomne county wants her, they 5 days to pick her up. There's not much I can do - maybe get a job in the jail laundry... ; /
::Blank Stare Face::
to which i deftly replied: lol, well if there's nothing you can do, there's nothing to do
At which point things got decidedly creepy...
COPTXT: It's good of you to be there for her... : )
Me: yeah, she apparently has no one else...
COPTXT: I get it. It Sucks- and you get tangled into it. Get some sleep- and it'll all be better tomorrow... : )
Me: Yeahhhhh, doubt that
Me: Thanks though
COPTXT: goodnight : )
EEEEWWWWWWWW fucking creeper status right there. and I've MET this guy. ONCE. At 12 AM. over MEATLOAF. The Food, not the music. Not sure which is worse all i know is that i got a total creeper vibe from him. ANYWAY. i had a good laugh over that afterwards.
so then i spent the next 3 hours trying to figure out how to memorialize this momentus moment in time... and here i decided it shall be writ. lol.
Off to bed for me, at now, what appears to be 6 am. until probabluy 9 or 10 am when i have to call Kathy in accounting to let her know that my roommate is in jail and needs a $150 paycheck advance, probably because yesterday was her birthday.
So... Um...
Yeahhhhh.... about that...
My Roommate's in.... prison? :confusedface:
11:15pm, Monday August 2nd 2010
Inside the small apt unit, The Roommate walks up the stairs, hefting her large frame with every step.
The 45years she's been alive have not been kind to her. People see this in her small, close-eyed face. The beady eyes that offer a glance of adult misunderstanding, completely opposite the childlike look of simply not knowing, dart about in a strangely nonchalant manner.
Me: Hey
The Roommate: hey
Me: Going somewhere?
Her: oh, yeah... i'm heading out for a bit, but i'll be right back.
This simple mistatement can be made by anyone, heading out for a bit implies being gone for a period of time somewhere, but being right back means that you're heading straight home. Maybe she should have said that that she'll be right back, but she's heading out for a while.
Dressed in jeans and a tight black wind breaker with a little black backpack on her back, the straps running as far as they can around her frame, she looks like Max Rebo from star wars wrapped inside of a Human Suit. Minus the large trunk of course.
She heads down the stairs and out the door.
I continue playing Red Dead Redemption, shootin' fools and chewing ter-backey.
-Cut to earlier that day-
Me: Hey, so you're going to have that $50 for me today right? I told you on Saturday that I had to have it by Monday because it'd make me $50 short for rent...
The Roommate: Um... well... Oh, Ok, yeah, I'm waiting to hear back from my work. Um... they were supposed to get me a check today for this deal that I closed.
(She sells ad spaces on pharmacy bags)
Me: ok, so you're not going to have it today?
The Roommate: Oh, Um... yeah, so my work was supposed to cut me a check and get it to me for this deal that i closed
(you said that already)
but they didn't send it in time so i don't have it today, but it should clear by tomorrow so i can definitely get that $50 to you by then!
(wait what?)
Me: Ok, so you'll have that $50 for me tomorrow, because I HAVE to pay rent, and I can't be late.
The Roommate: Oh yeah, not a problem, i'll definitely have it!
(Cut to the previous week)
Exterior: The apartment complex has two driveways, separated by the mailbox with it's 24 mailboxes and outgoing and rent drop boxes, after that running just about halfway back into the complex is a small garden type setting with trees and flowers, a small potted plant area and a nice tiled space with a large BBQ in it.
The Apt Manager is watering some plants as I walk out to check the mail.
Me: Hey, how's it going?
Apt Mgr: Oh Hey! how are you? It's going good, the construction business is starting to pick up, so I'm getting a little more work done here and there.
Me: Oh that's good
(polite banter about work and construction being a good sign of the overall economy etc)
Apt Mgr; So hey.... Uh, how's everything in there?
Me: Hm? Oh, with The Roommate? yeah, things are ok, I mean, you know, she's a little weird but other than that no major complaints. haha why?
Apt Mgr: Oh, that's good, yeah, nothing really, she's just kinda behind on rent and you know, I was just wondering how things were going, whether she was stressed or anything.
Me: oh, um, no not really stressed I mean she spends all day in her room working, so i really don't get that much interaction with her, but no, things SEEM ok, should I be worried or something?
Apt Mgr: oh well, I dunno, I've been at this long enough to see the signs you know. I mean, she's a couple grand behind on rent sooo, I've seen people ditch before and I just wouldn't want you to get caught up in that.
Me: A couple grand? really? wow, ok, That i didn't know, that's probably why she wanted me paying HER the $600 rent instead of you guys... huh, ok well. I'll keep an eye out I guess...
Apt Mgr: Oh, no, no worries, you don't have to do anything, I was just wondering, and you know, I can talk to the Landlord and see if they're cool with you staying for a month at just your rent until you find another roommate in case she does split so, yeah, i mean just keep an eye out for yourself, don't get blindsided by her ditching sometime in the middle of the night.
Me: ok, cool, thanks, yeah, I'll talk to some friends and see if anyone wants to move! Talk to you later!
Apt Mgr: ok, yeah, Later!
11:44pm Monday August 2nd 2010
My phone rings.
Me: Hello?
The Roommate: Hey, Luke? It's me.
Me: ... Yeah?
The Roommate: Um, so... I kinda need you to do me a Huge Favor... Um, so apparantly, I didn't know there was a Warrant out for my arrest in Tuolumne County. Um, so, Uh, I kinda need you to come down here and get my car and stuff, um, cause they might need me to go to jail.
Me:.... What.
The Roommate: Yeah, I had no idea that there was a warrant out for my arrest in Tuolumne County, I mean I went to the court and cleared up the DUI and I thought that was it. Um, so can you come down to the end of street, i'm right there you know, where, you know, the street, um, meets the other street and that's where my car is, that's where I am.
There should be a cop car and they're running my file now to see if they have to take me or not so, can you just come down and get the car and my stuff please?
Me: So, wait, are they taking you to jail? are they arresting you?
The Roommate: Um.... I don't know, they're checking right now, can you just come down and get my stuff? I'd really appreciate it.
__ The way she speaks isn't normal for someone who just got pulled over and was told they have a warrant out for their arrest. It's not, omfg omfg omfg what the F is going on, what do you mean warrant? It's; Oh, ok, well let me call my roommate so you don't tow my shit because i know that when i'm going to get arrested for having this warrant you're going to tow my shit, so can you just come get my shit so it doesnt get towed. now?__
Me: Uh, i guess, i'll walk down there, if they don't arrest you i hope you'll see me on the road though (there's no street lights)
Exterior: Pitch Black, a few shard of light pierce the night from shuttered windows, the trail next to me, usually full of bustle and hustle joggers and fake-ass tour-de-walnut-creekers biking their medicated hearts out now sits quiet and unused, perfect for the night life to take full advantage of and scurry about making the type of silent noise that is usually only found in the creepy forests...
I walk down to the end of my street, turn left and head to the main road, already i can see the cop lights, not flashing, just on. and there's two of them. Ok, well, now what... guess there's nothing to do but walk up to the cop and say hi.
Me: Hi.
Cop: You Luke?
Me: Um, yeah...
Cop: Your roommate said you'd be coming to get her car, keys are here, there's groceries in the back and her purse is there for you to take in to the house.
Me: oh, ok... um, anything else?
Cop: Nope, Officer blahblahblah here will be driving you back to make sure you make it, uh, if there's anything else you can talk to her in the back here...
Me: Nope.
Cop: OK, have a good night
>Gets in car and takes off<
Other cop that's supposed to follow me back home: Cool.
>Gets in car and takes off the other way<
Me: Uh-huh... :Confused Face:
>Gets in car, starts engine, doesnt think it's on, turns it over while it's already on, takes off down the street, realizes the foot pedal e-brake is still on halfway there and finally makes it home mostly in one piece 2 1/2 minutes later<
Me: What the fuck, glad that's over.
I come inside, drop her stuff outside her door, take the groceries upstairs and go back to my video games, tell my friend online "See, what had happened was" and all that then call my gf to tell her the craziness of the night... oh if I only knew at that point in time...
Me: Hey cutie, how was your day?
Gf: Hey! my day sucked! Work kicked my ass. but it's better now :Winkyface:
(random bf/gf talk for 45 mins)
Me: Sooo, I'm looking forward to this weekend when you get back...
Gf: Mmm, yeah me too, I can't wait to see you, I had A LOT of fun this weekend (*giggle noise*)
Me: Yeah, I did too (*knowing wink face*)
***Moment of heavy breathing and excited talk of the weekend to come***
BEEP
I tear the phone from my ear, not so much frustrated that someone would be calling at this time of night, my friends do that all the time but more so that it's right in the middle of a conversation like... that.
It's a number I don't recognize... It's a 925 number I don't recognize. I know 925 numbers and no one that I know from 925 would be calling me this late unless they needed something.
And the only person I know who needs something right now is The Roommate.
At this point, I have a moral dilemma facing me:
Do I Answer the call?
Do I Not Answer the call?
In all honesty, I have NO IDEA what number that is. It could be anyone, IN FACT, just earlier that day I had received a wrong call from a number I didn't recognize.
But I know. I KNOW it's her!! IT HAS TO BE HER... Why. why does it have to be her?
Why do i have to answer? I don't, i could just not pick this up and continue talking with my gf... I could have myself a real good night. I could make my gf's night better, especially after the shitty day she's had.
SO, do I answer or don't I?
of course this all takes mere seconds to run through my head over and over until finally
Me: Hey babe, i gotta take this, it's probably The Roommate calling from jail, she probably only has one call, so I'll call you right back ok??
Gf: *laughs* ok, no problem, good luck!
Me: Ha! thanks, later.
>switch calls<
Me: Hel--
Phone: This is an automated call from MARTINEZ police station, to accept this call press 0 and wait, to decline this call press 9 and
*0*
(sigh, i knew it)
Me: Hell--
Phone: Hello?
Me: .... yeah?
The Roommate: Luke? It's me, um, hey, so they arrested me.
(no shit)
The Roommate: Hey, um thanks for getting my car, um, did you get get the groceries and everything?
Me: yeah, i got them
The Roommate: Oh, ok good!, um, so i'm in here and waiting for fingerprints and they said that apparently according to the judge's warrant or something, they, um, they can hold me for like 5 days for the Tuolumne county police to come get me, so uh, they won't let me go.
Me: Uh-huh, ok
The Roommate: Hey, um, I'm sorry to be asking you this, uh, but could you do me another favor?
Her voice rises in pitch with each word like a child asking for candy that she knows she shouldn't have.
Me: Sure, what's up
The Roommate: Um, could you, um, if I give you the number for my work, could you, um, call them, uh, and ask, i mean tell them that um, you know, the court in Tuolumne County issued a warrant for my arrest, um they know about my DUI, uh and that I'm in martinez right now and uh, i could be here for 5 days, I don't know.
Me: ok, did the cops say anything about what could happen? or why they pulled you over? or whether you can post bail or something?
The Roommate: Um, no, uh, I don't know if i can post bail or not, like i said i'm just waiting here for fingerprints right now and i'm not sure what's going on right now, I mean, i've never been in trouble, i've never been arrested, i don't know what's going on.
Of course, this is all said matter of factly. There's no fear in her voice, a sort of lightheartedness maybe, a little nervous chuckle? or is that stupidity... Can't tell with her.
Me: Ok, so what's the number for work, who do i talk to, what do i tell them
She proceeds to give me a 1800 number for her work.
Then tells me to talk to someone in accounting. At 9am.
Tell them she's in jail for 5 days and will call asap.
Then she tell me to call this guy she knows from high school (don't forget she's 46 now) and that she met once since then..... last week.... when he came over at 12am... AM... for meatloaf... ... ... yeah. that's right.
But He's a cop.
The Roommate: If you could call him for me.... i'll give you his number.
Me: Ok.... what do i say to him?
The Roommate: Uh, Um, Uh.... well.... um.... just uh..... Tell him what I told you.
Me: WHAT?
The Roommate: UM, and tell him that, uh, I won't be able to see him for a while...
Me: ok, so like, 5 days a while or never again?
The Roommate: Oh, um, just, uh, tell him that I won't be able to see him for a while...
__Yeah i got that part, fuck calling this guy, i'm just gonna text him__
Oh yeah, then she asks me to call her parents, now this I'm not opposed to. and not just because i want to hear all the berating things i can imagine some 80 year old man yelling into the phone about his failure of a daughter but, because i genuinely think that parents should be forewarned when their child goes to jail.
Me: Ok, what's your parents number?
The Roommate: Oh, Ummmm....
(YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME)
The Roommate: Uh, well i don't have that, so you're gonna have to uh,call information and get their number and call them
She then proceeds to fully spell out her Mom's name: PAT. but they don't have her last name (wtf?)... and then tells me what town they live in and that she didn't know about the court date, while somehow managing to sound kinda pissed at them, like it was some 80 year old persons fault that you didn't check your fucking mail for a Notice that you've got a warrant out for your arrest... that's what you get for having a P.O. Box.
So it's 1:15am by now, I've been on the phone way too long (a full 15 minutes) with the police dept in martinez and I'm like, ok, well ,yeah i'll try to call these people and see what i can do...
ok bye.
Finally, off the phone with her, ok, back to my life... call these people in the morning cool...
tell my friend over xbox live a short version and also mention the fact that she's about 2G's behind on rent and still owe's me $50 bucks for this months rent and he laughs his ass off, then I call my gf back and talk to her for a few minutes before GUESS WHAT!!
She calls again.
From Jail.
The Roommate: Hey, um, so I need you to call a couple of other people for me... um, so Astound, the cable company, um, yeah, i was supposed to make a payment tomorrow, so um, could you call them? That's A-S-T-O-U-N-D, and they do the internet and stuff just tell them that uh, i was um, in a car accident and that i'm not home and that i should be able to make a payment by um, the weekend... uh, and if you could call my mobile company to, uh, T-Mobile, That's T-M-O
Me: Yeah, i got that.
The Roommate: Oh! Ok, uhm, yeahh, and also if you could call Antioch Rent-A-Center and let them know that i was in a, um, car accident and that i can't make a payment until this weekend, talk to chris, he's nice...
Me: So all these were due tomorrow?
The Roommate: Yeah, um, they might shut off the cable and internet so make sure you call Astound before they do that...
Me: really. ok. (I can't F*cking believe this)
The Roommate: Um, did He ever text back? (the cop "friend")
Me: no.
So I hang up the phone, text my gf good night and text my friend to see if she's up b/c I KNOW she'll get a kick out of this, It's tooo good to NOT tell someone...
So i call my friend after she responds to the text and I start going over the whoooole story, start to finish and I'm going strong for a good 25 minutes when this 510 number calls... now 510 is right next to 925 as far as counties go and I'm pretty sure this from someone or something that has to do with this mounting pile of male cow feces i've been shoveled all night, so I answer and i hear:
Hi... Is this Luke?
me: Yeah...
Aladdin: So, Luke, um, I'm not sure if you're aware but your roommate has been arrested and is in jail...
(dramatic pause)
Me: Yeah, I know.
Aladdin: Oh (obviously surprised at my nonchalant answer).... well, um, she....(getting stride back) contacted us and gave us your number to call and see whether you would be able to bail her out of Jail, it's a thousand dollars for a $10,000 bail bond and we'd be happy to work with you if you think you be... able... to......
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry, I can't afford that right now.
Aladdin: ah... ok, well, thanks anyway.
Me: Sure thing!
>Switch calls<
Me: i really wish i could record my calls right now
Friend who now knows the whole story: Haha, what was that call about?
Me: Oh, just some bail bond calling to ask for $1000 to bail her ass out of jail.
Friend: Are you F*cking Serious?
Me:You know, I really wish my life was TiVo so i could just rewind and hit record and just have this one moment in time recorded to play back and laugh at the whole way...
Friend: Haha, yeah, you should really record all this somehow!
Me: Yeah! I should make a short film about this one moment... I'd win a friggin oscar. lol
BEEP
Me: Hold on, i don't believe this, she's calling me again, one second
>Switch calls<
Me: Yeah, what
The Roommate: Hey, um, Luke, uh, I was wondering, that, um, if you could, you know, if there was any way you could get a thousand dollars to bail me out of jail? I mean i'd get it RIGHT back to you as soon as my check from work clears and, um, you know, i'd REALLY appreciate it, uh, so , if you*
Me: NO. I am $50 short for rent, because I lent you $50 on Saturday which you said you'd get to me by Monday. That's ALL I have right now, there's NO WAY I can get you $1000 ok? I'm Sorry, but NO.
The Roommate: oh, um, ok, well, uh, here let me give you the number for a, um, bail bond, company that's just across the street here it's uh 510
Me: What? Why would I want their number? what is this number for?
The Roommate: Oh, well, um you know, just in case they call you it's 510-755
Me: They already called.
The Roommate: Oh.............. They did.... um.... oh.
Me: Yeah. Look, i'll call these people, but that's all i can do for now.
The Roommate: Oh, um, ok, well, yeah... Thanks, i appreciate you doing this for me. Did He ever text you back?
Me: Not yet.
So again, I hang up and talk with my friend for a little bit, we laugh at what a shit storm it is and how anyone could let their life get so fucked and make it this far.
So I start to relax a little and try to make sense of everything that's happened.
At abotu 145 i'd texted this cop friend of hers and told him what happened, he gets back to me around 3am
COPTXT: wow - that sucks. what did she get arrested for?
so i explain, a little more in detail: warrant, arrested, in jail, wanted me to text you.
COPTXT: Hmm- if toulomne county wants her, they 5 days to pick her up. There's not much I can do - maybe get a job in the jail laundry... ; /
::Blank Stare Face::
to which i deftly replied: lol, well if there's nothing you can do, there's nothing to do
At which point things got decidedly creepy...
COPTXT: It's good of you to be there for her... : )
Me: yeah, she apparently has no one else...
COPTXT: I get it. It Sucks- and you get tangled into it. Get some sleep- and it'll all be better tomorrow... : )
Me: Yeahhhhh, doubt that
Me: Thanks though
COPTXT: goodnight : )
EEEEWWWWWWWW fucking creeper status right there. and I've MET this guy. ONCE. At 12 AM. over MEATLOAF. The Food, not the music. Not sure which is worse all i know is that i got a total creeper vibe from him. ANYWAY. i had a good laugh over that afterwards.
so then i spent the next 3 hours trying to figure out how to memorialize this momentus moment in time... and here i decided it shall be writ. lol.
Off to bed for me, at now, what appears to be 6 am. until probabluy 9 or 10 am when i have to call Kathy in accounting to let her know that my roommate is in jail and needs a $150 paycheck advance, probably because yesterday was her birthday.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
So, Happy Birthday.
Celebrations Are In Order.
Hope You Have a Great Day.
And May ALL Your Wishes Come True.
And This Special Day Brings You Happiness and Joy.
And of Course, Fun.