Total, Epic, Random Boredness!!!!!
WARNING:
WARNING:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
1.While driving down the street, looking for parking, do you turn the radio down?
Hell no! there's no better way to look for an address than to to drive hella slow and turn yo shit up hella loud! people be coming outta they homes to give yo ass directions! they want you the fuck outta there!
2. If you could hug one person right now, who would it be?
This kid needs a Hug...
4. What is your favorite kind of weather?
The kind where the k9 units can't follow the scent of blood through the forest to your secret hideout...
5. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, his ass is dead... and naked.
6. If you could travel anywhere in the world, without cost being a deciding factor where would it be?
Singapore, i hear you can buy Paris Hiltons vagina for $6.25!! carry-on = Hand Sanitizer, Scuba Gear and Flashlight.
7. Are you a home body, or a social butterfly?
Isn't a home body someone who stays home and is only social when they leave their house? and isn't a social butterfly someone who is social only when they're around other people, making them a home body at home? kind of redundant.
8. Beer, wine or liquor?
I like to mix a nice '97 Sauvignon with 750ml of Hennesey and a six pack of PBR for a delish punchbowl-cocktail i call: "grapes 'n' shit"
9. If your partner was unable to have sex due to illness or injury, would you stay with them?
of course, if she was that sick to not be able to have sex, she'd be sick enough to not be able to stop me from... you know... all over. Her. or him, whatever floats your boats.
10. Do you drink milk?
straight from the cats nipple.
12. What's the most you've ever won on a scratchie?
i came this one time when i scratched by balls real hard. that's a win right?
13. Do you own any fish?
yes, but i ate it.
14. Who is jealous of you?
this horse in russia
15 . How many messages are in your inbox/outbox on your cell phone?
100/100 it's on auto delete
16. When's the last time you sent a text?
the last time i sent a text.
17. Would you ever give your life for somebody else to live?
How does this work. Do i walk up to them and hand them a gift certificate, good for one life? can they redeem it at starbucks for a latte?
18. What's your favorite planet, besides this one?
Um, i don't know. I've actually never been outside the Earth's atmosphere so i wouldn't want to play favorites...
19. Do you vote for city-related issues?
I'm not allowed to vote. Ever since i was caught with the governers daughter, a pogo stick, 3 buckets of vaseline, a clown costume and a camcorder... I swear up and down that i was making a music video...
20. Have you ever been to the Vatican?
Yeah, i was taken there once, on order of the pope... apparently he got word of one of my previous bulletins where i bashed the church and he didn't take it too kindly. We had a nice chat and some tea and biscuits, then i told him to go to hell b/c he wanted me to convert to christianity. well that didnt go over to well and i spent the next six months watching reruns of americas funniest home videos, except it wasnt the videos, it was just Bob Sagats bad jokes, over and over and over again... now i REALLY hate jesus.
21. Do you do anything for a bad sunburn?
usually a spanking does the trick... if not, send it to bed without dinner and no TV for a week.
22. What are you listening to right now?
The World, dying slowly all around me. The cries of despair keep me up at night with the horrific wailing of a world in torment at the hands of mankind. Most nights i throw a shoe out the window at him. He get's the hint and fucks off down the street to the next neighborhood but i've lost a lot of shoes this way. God i wish he'd just get hit by a bus already.
23. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?
Yeah, i did your mom... sorry. i ran out of good jokes on this one.
24. Have you ever had to run for your life?
oh yeah, a few times. the best one was where i'd just got done defiling a corpse at the old folks home, fresh one mind you, sometimes they don't find those buggers for a few days, this one was still kinda warm, luckily he'd taken his teeth out for me beforehand, anyway, so i'm running full tilt down this alleyway with two beats on my six and i had to hop this fence, but on the other side was a friggin doberman!, it lunged at my face as i landed and i rolled sideways just in the nick of time and kicked back at it, that gave me just enough time to start running, and then a cop flies over the friggin fence after me, usually cops don't jump fences after people, but i found out later that old dude i defiled was his dad!! those pigs weren't even supposed to be there, he was just in the neighborhood and decided to visit his dad!! sucks to be him! so the cop lands and the dog is just getting overbeing kicked in the face, so it's kinda quiet and off to the side and the cop don't see it. cop puls his gun, yells freeze and i do, next thing i know, the cops screaming bloody murder and the dog has his balls in its mouth! I'm off running, the dogs going after him again, and his partner just got over the fence.. I'm around the corner, dogs barking like mad, then BLAM, no more barking. that dog had a shitty day... i laughed about it later.
25. Ever been to a family reunion?
Yeah, every morning when i look in the mirror... sob.
26. Can you play golf?
everyone can play golf. how well is another matter.
27. Do you prepare soup in the microwave or on the stove?
Usually i have it prepared by the little cloned Croatian kids in the factory down the street, they even can it an' all!! friggin sweet!
28. If your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, would you accept?
No, i'd demand a threesome with her younger sister and her best friend before there were any negotiations for a continued relationship. then i'd prob run off with the other two anyway, cheating bitch.
29. Do you eat crabs?
if she's hot enough... no, no, even *I* won't do that. surprised? fuck you.
30. Are you the kinda person who will search the entire room for the remote?
yeah, only when i want to throw it at your face.
31. If you could have a plane ticket to anywhere right now, where would you go?
Right now it's happy hour in Australia, so anywhere there.
32. How often do you do laundry?
as often as she is horny.
HAVE YOU:
Q: Kissed someone in your friends?
I've kissed a lot of them, and don't let them try to tell you otherwise, they're just embarrased because of that whole "oh, this? this is just a coldsore, it's not herpes" fiasco.
Q: Been arrested?
Sigh, not yet... I was kinda looking forward to it this year, but i haven't had the chance, i moved too far away from the preschool...
Q: Kissed someone you didn't like?
yeah, but her sister was hot, so i had to find SOME way into the house.
Q: Been suspended from school?
haha, yeah about that... i had no idea it was the principals car... or his wife.
Q: Sat on a roof top?
yeah, then i fell off.
Q: Had/have a gym membership?
no, but i have an OBGYN membership, gets you into that one-way mirror viewing room, oh yeah baby
Q: Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
yup, both of them, i told him that i'd been dicking his girl for weeks, sometimes right before he did because she told me that he couldn't even get her wet, nevermind get her off, and that she didnt want to be with him anymore she was only with him to get as much out of him as she could. Then after she laughed at him and called him a pussyfaced douchebucket, i told her that i was two timing her with her sister and everything was in her name now so i'd be taking the keys to that porsche THANK YOU! come again.
Q: Shot a gun?
I believe it's actually just : SHOTGUN
Q: Donated blood?
I have Mad Cow Disease... True Story.
Just be 100% truthful:
1. Last person You hung out with?
Roomie, watching movies.
2. Last person that you texted?
Other roommate
3. Have you ever thought about committing suicide?
genocide maybe, suicide, not so much. I've thought about committing TO a Suicide Girl, but hey... me n committment haven't always been on the best of terms... maybe that'll change.
4. Last person(s) you went to the movies with?
Pee Wee... unfotunate what happened to him, i TOLD him: "Look, if the cops bust in, duck and run, just Duck, and Run." didn't listen, he was still fappin away when i was a block down the street running half nekkid.
5. Last person you went to the mall with?
Couple of Crackheads.
7. Last person you commented?
what-the-fuck-ever.
8. Last person you hit?
A guy who had a Hugs are Nice T-shirt. he wasn't nice.
9. Current mood?
whaddafuckyouthinkmothafucka? it's 530am... somewhere.
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Kissed someone?
maybe, but probably not, i'm not too sure right now.
2. Hugged someone?
oh yeah, i hugged this guy who had a t-shirt that said, Hugs are Nice. so i gave him a hug. he punched me. I broke his nose.
3. Held hands with someone?
actually, this guy i know, well, not really KNOW, but more like met and beat up, we were getting into a fight about our mothers and who sucks better dick when this random fucking latino dwarf runs up and ties our hands together with rope and then runs off. so we stood there for a moment kinda in shock, then we realized it was micheal jackson so someone pulled out their iPhone and started bumpin Beat It and I punched dude in the throat when he wasn't looking. Ended that pretty quick.
1.While driving down the street, looking for parking, do you turn the radio down?
Hell no! there's no better way to look for an address than to to drive hella slow and turn yo shit up hella loud! people be coming outta they homes to give yo ass directions! they want you the fuck outta there!
2. If you could hug one person right now, who would it be?
This kid needs a Hug...
4. What is your favorite kind of weather?
The kind where the k9 units can't follow the scent of blood through the forest to your secret hideout...
5. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, his ass is dead... and naked.
6. If you could travel anywhere in the world, without cost being a deciding factor where would it be?
Singapore, i hear you can buy Paris Hiltons vagina for $6.25!! carry-on = Hand Sanitizer, Scuba Gear and Flashlight.
7. Are you a home body, or a social butterfly?
Isn't a home body someone who stays home and is only social when they leave their house? and isn't a social butterfly someone who is social only when they're around other people, making them a home body at home? kind of redundant.
8. Beer, wine or liquor?
I like to mix a nice '97 Sauvignon with 750ml of Hennesey and a six pack of PBR for a delish punchbowl-cocktail i call: "grapes 'n' shit"
9. If your partner was unable to have sex due to illness or injury, would you stay with them?
of course, if she was that sick to not be able to have sex, she'd be sick enough to not be able to stop me from... you know... all over. Her. or him, whatever floats your boats.
10. Do you drink milk?
straight from the cats nipple.
12. What's the most you've ever won on a scratchie?
i came this one time when i scratched by balls real hard. that's a win right?
13. Do you own any fish?
yes, but i ate it.
14. Who is jealous of you?
this horse in russia
15 . How many messages are in your inbox/outbox on your cell phone?
100/100 it's on auto delete
16. When's the last time you sent a text?
the last time i sent a text.
17. Would you ever give your life for somebody else to live?
How does this work. Do i walk up to them and hand them a gift certificate, good for one life? can they redeem it at starbucks for a latte?
18. What's your favorite planet, besides this one?
Um, i don't know. I've actually never been outside the Earth's atmosphere so i wouldn't want to play favorites...
19. Do you vote for city-related issues?
I'm not allowed to vote. Ever since i was caught with the governers daughter, a pogo stick, 3 buckets of vaseline, a clown costume and a camcorder... I swear up and down that i was making a music video...
20. Have you ever been to the Vatican?
Yeah, i was taken there once, on order of the pope... apparently he got word of one of my previous bulletins where i bashed the church and he didn't take it too kindly. We had a nice chat and some tea and biscuits, then i told him to go to hell b/c he wanted me to convert to christianity. well that didnt go over to well and i spent the next six months watching reruns of americas funniest home videos, except it wasnt the videos, it was just Bob Sagats bad jokes, over and over and over again... now i REALLY hate jesus.
21. Do you do anything for a bad sunburn?
usually a spanking does the trick... if not, send it to bed without dinner and no TV for a week.
22. What are you listening to right now?
The World, dying slowly all around me. The cries of despair keep me up at night with the horrific wailing of a world in torment at the hands of mankind. Most nights i throw a shoe out the window at him. He get's the hint and fucks off down the street to the next neighborhood but i've lost a lot of shoes this way. God i wish he'd just get hit by a bus already.
23. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?
Yeah, i did your mom... sorry. i ran out of good jokes on this one.
24. Have you ever had to run for your life?
oh yeah, a few times. the best one was where i'd just got done defiling a corpse at the old folks home, fresh one mind you, sometimes they don't find those buggers for a few days, this one was still kinda warm, luckily he'd taken his teeth out for me beforehand, anyway, so i'm running full tilt down this alleyway with two beats on my six and i had to hop this fence, but on the other side was a friggin doberman!, it lunged at my face as i landed and i rolled sideways just in the nick of time and kicked back at it, that gave me just enough time to start running, and then a cop flies over the friggin fence after me, usually cops don't jump fences after people, but i found out later that old dude i defiled was his dad!! those pigs weren't even supposed to be there, he was just in the neighborhood and decided to visit his dad!! sucks to be him! so the cop lands and the dog is just getting overbeing kicked in the face, so it's kinda quiet and off to the side and the cop don't see it. cop puls his gun, yells freeze and i do, next thing i know, the cops screaming bloody murder and the dog has his balls in its mouth! I'm off running, the dogs going after him again, and his partner just got over the fence.. I'm around the corner, dogs barking like mad, then BLAM, no more barking. that dog had a shitty day... i laughed about it later.
25. Ever been to a family reunion?
Yeah, every morning when i look in the mirror... sob.
26. Can you play golf?
everyone can play golf. how well is another matter.
27. Do you prepare soup in the microwave or on the stove?
Usually i have it prepared by the little cloned Croatian kids in the factory down the street, they even can it an' all!! friggin sweet!
28. If your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, would you accept?
No, i'd demand a threesome with her younger sister and her best friend before there were any negotiations for a continued relationship. then i'd prob run off with the other two anyway, cheating bitch.
29. Do you eat crabs?
if she's hot enough... no, no, even *I* won't do that. surprised? fuck you.
30. Are you the kinda person who will search the entire room for the remote?
yeah, only when i want to throw it at your face.
31. If you could have a plane ticket to anywhere right now, where would you go?
Right now it's happy hour in Australia, so anywhere there.
32. How often do you do laundry?
as often as she is horny.
HAVE YOU:
Q: Kissed someone in your friends?
I've kissed a lot of them, and don't let them try to tell you otherwise, they're just embarrased because of that whole "oh, this? this is just a coldsore, it's not herpes" fiasco.
Q: Been arrested?
Sigh, not yet... I was kinda looking forward to it this year, but i haven't had the chance, i moved too far away from the preschool...
Q: Kissed someone you didn't like?
yeah, but her sister was hot, so i had to find SOME way into the house.
Q: Been suspended from school?
haha, yeah about that... i had no idea it was the principals car... or his wife.
Q: Sat on a roof top?
yeah, then i fell off.
Q: Had/have a gym membership?
no, but i have an OBGYN membership, gets you into that one-way mirror viewing room, oh yeah baby
Q: Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
yup, both of them, i told him that i'd been dicking his girl for weeks, sometimes right before he did because she told me that he couldn't even get her wet, nevermind get her off, and that she didnt want to be with him anymore she was only with him to get as much out of him as she could. Then after she laughed at him and called him a pussyfaced douchebucket, i told her that i was two timing her with her sister and everything was in her name now so i'd be taking the keys to that porsche THANK YOU! come again.
Q: Shot a gun?
I believe it's actually just : SHOTGUN
Q: Donated blood?
I have Mad Cow Disease... True Story.
Just be 100% truthful:
1. Last person You hung out with?
Roomie, watching movies.
2. Last person that you texted?
Other roommate
3. Have you ever thought about committing suicide?
genocide maybe, suicide, not so much. I've thought about committing TO a Suicide Girl, but hey... me n committment haven't always been on the best of terms... maybe that'll change.
4. Last person(s) you went to the movies with?
Pee Wee... unfotunate what happened to him, i TOLD him: "Look, if the cops bust in, duck and run, just Duck, and Run." didn't listen, he was still fappin away when i was a block down the street running half nekkid.
5. Last person you went to the mall with?
Couple of Crackheads.
7. Last person you commented?
what-the-fuck-ever.
8. Last person you hit?
A guy who had a Hugs are Nice T-shirt. he wasn't nice.
9. Current mood?
whaddafuckyouthinkmothafucka? it's 530am... somewhere.
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Kissed someone?
maybe, but probably not, i'm not too sure right now.
2. Hugged someone?
oh yeah, i hugged this guy who had a t-shirt that said, Hugs are Nice. so i gave him a hug. he punched me. I broke his nose.
3. Held hands with someone?
actually, this guy i know, well, not really KNOW, but more like met and beat up, we were getting into a fight about our mothers and who sucks better dick when this random fucking latino dwarf runs up and ties our hands together with rope and then runs off. so we stood there for a moment kinda in shock, then we realized it was micheal jackson so someone pulled out their iPhone and started bumpin Beat It and I punched dude in the throat when he wasn't looking. Ended that pretty quick.
Never Give Up:
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
flores:
fish eating fish..the only thing that truly creeps me the fuck out.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
flores:
Haha. I generally don't touch the stuff.