theblueweasel

sitting in bed, upset about how my back hurts. It is only so tight and painful because I am too tense.

So I try to relax. I say that there isn't anything worth being so tense all the time about. BUT THERE IS!
Reading Ultimate Spiderman, wishing that I had some sort of ability to change these things in the world that I see. Some things I see are just FUCKING wrong. Then I realize that I do have the power. Just not in such a cool way as being able to create objects of green force from a ring, powered only by my will.

I do have power. I have my intelect and I have my moral code.

But all I want for myself is a nice breeze on my face. To let all the world slip away under the soft sigh of contentment.
Why is my back so tense?
I am too busy for yoga anymore. Everytime I sit down and try (well that is my first problem, I'm trying ) every time I sit down and try to do some yoga and relax, I can't.

My back is only a symbol of this world. So much going on. No one can just sit and let it all happen. Everyone (and I am using these all-incompassing words with a mild case of lucidity)...everyone knows that things are fucked and wants to do something about it. They just don't feel like they can. -but that's also a HUGE issue in the physical, mental, and spiritual health of this country.

I want to believe that I can make a difference.
I want to believe that I have the power to control my world.
I want to believe that I am loved no matter what.
I want...I just want to believe.