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thebigjankowski

Columbus, Ohio

Member Since 2011

Followers 76 Following 114

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Saturday Dec 22, 2012

Dec 22, 2012
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Not sure where to go with this. My GF has an eating disorder. I knew this going in. She was in rehab, doing really well. Said that she was getting better and was ready for a relationship (we dated earlier this year and she broke it off because she wasn't ready). So I took her back. She completed her 6 weeks rehab, but I fear has begun to fall back on old habits. Just a little over a week out of rehab she has purged twice. She claims it's due to the stress of moving.

I don't know. I just can't wrap my head around it, which is to be expected when someone's brain is wired a little different (I don't mean that in a bad sense). It seems like the littlest things cause an emotional breakdown and crisis. Today it was that she is out of Boost. Yesterday, it was moving.

I'm not sure what to do. If I tell her I'm disappointed in her that she purged, she'll withdraw and it'll be another emotional meltdown. If I breakup with her because I don't think she's mentally in a place where she can handle the ups and downs of a relationship, I fear it'll be a total collapse. If I'm completely honest with her with my position, it'll cause a meltdown.

I really like her, I do. We have great times together, even doing simple things. But I just don't think I can handle the ED. I can't take her to family get togethers because my family will insist that she eat. This will just put pressure on her, she'll eat, then have an anxiety attack and I fear that will lead to another purge.

I'm at a loss, I am. I'm considering looking up people from her rehab facility and calling them seeking advice. I can't ask her for the number because it will set off alarms. At the same time, it feels like I'd be going behind her back and the fact that I called will get back to her anyway.

I considered asking to join the Eating Disorders group to seek advice, but I don't feel that is the place for this. I don't know. I really don't know what to do. frown
cashmir:
No idea what to say to help you with this, but I kinda know how you feel. I have a friend that had/has an eating disorder and sometimes it makes me really uncomfortable. Like when she visited me and only ate an actual meal once while she was visiting me. Good luck. Wish I could be of more help. Looking up her old rehab facility or maybe talking to her parents (if they are in the know) might be your best bet.
Dec 22, 2012
thebigjankowski:
Thanks for replying though, I do appreciate it. This has really impacted my last day and a half, I really feel like I've withdrawn from her myself. I definitely realize that my whole demeanor changed after she told me yesterday that she had purged. It really impacted the rest of my day, even today.

I did some googling on the topic, unfortunately, from the limited things I've read, I should've never gotten involved in a relationship.

Can't really go to the folks because her mom has been identified as a problem by her counselor. One suggestion made to me was to go with her next time she has an appointment and frame as a "How can I help?" kind of thing. To maybe better understand this whole thing. I certainly don't mind doing something like that.
Dec 23, 2012

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