Maybe some of you have noticed I don't talk about my relationships in here. At least, I haven't in a long while. Is this a flaw or weakness? Am I blocking in some way that will hold back my mental and spiritual development? I'd like this journal to help me overcome my obstacles and grow, but I think I'm still playing a game with myself. If this writing is to be at all helpful, this journal should truly reflect me, rather than be a triple-filtered, safe and cozy beacon for attention.
What I really want to do is start at the beginning and explain everything to date, rather than just give you disjointed blurbs collected in buckets under the leaky pipes of my psyche. I want to make it all clear and concise, like a story. I want my life to be a story because I want it to have purpose, and resolution to these seemingly endless conflicts within myself. But alas, I am not that fine a writer, and whether on the page, or throughout my day, I cannot seem to draw any purpose or structure. I live like a river and I know not where I go. I just flow, yet so many dams damn me.
What I really want to do is start at the beginning and explain everything to date, rather than just give you disjointed blurbs collected in buckets under the leaky pipes of my psyche. I want to make it all clear and concise, like a story. I want my life to be a story because I want it to have purpose, and resolution to these seemingly endless conflicts within myself. But alas, I am not that fine a writer, and whether on the page, or throughout my day, I cannot seem to draw any purpose or structure. I live like a river and I know not where I go. I just flow, yet so many dams damn me.
But alas, I am not that fine a writer...
Bullshit.