BUT I'm not really the type of guy to sit and mope over stuff. Well maybe for an hour or 4 but then I always realise that in the grand scheme of the world my life isnt so difficult compared to those who have it really hard and I can pretty much sort everything out given enough time ,luck and cash.I hate feeling sorry for myself so I just decide not to do it!!
Theres one 'thing' I just cant get over though and I have no clue what to do about it.
I was very quite close to losing my temper for the first half of that day which is something I rarely do. Not only does it scare me but other people. Last time I lost it I made like 2 people cry at the same time!! Well sort of lost it around mid Feb building an ikea sofa , bed but really flatpack furniture and rage go hand in hand like cheese and onion!!
Anyway I need focus , sleep , coffee ,sleep , good food , sleep. 6 hours in 2 days isnt enough shut eye me thinks Thing seem to be spiraling out of control on all fronts but since I cant control them theres no point worrying about it.
The one thing I really want to do however I cant do. I've made alot of fucking really stupid decisons this year. Most of the through doing what I though was right or easy at the time. No more sir I'll take the hard road , the long hours , the back shift and the long slog from now on. Although life was much more simpler when I was a self obsessed booze hound!
On the plus side I've quit smoking and hardly had a drink in a month which is a hell of a long time for me considering and do I miss it? No. To be honest I'm sick of people boasting about how good a weekend they had because they necked a bottle of vodka , took pills or lines of white powder. You cant enjoy yourself that much if you feel the need to escape yourself at every oppertunity possible.
Wow this is long
Now if you'll excuse me I need to pull off one of my little dazzling feats that changes everything(I do actually do that you know. I just only do it for the special people I think deserve it)
