the_sam

im going to put out something serious. i dont do it because i want pity, that im trying to be a martyr. but because it happened, and i need to get it out. i had it all. i had everything anyone could ever hope for. true love. the best people that could have ever come into my life, came almost together. i had to choose, but had no idea how. i lied, strung people along, all because i was afraid and confused and had no regard for the emotions of others. i commited the ultimate betrayal, and i ended up hurting them both very deeply. probably more than any other girl they let into their lives. hopefully, i will be the last. i learned that when it comes to men, i am too selfish and worthless in that area to be in a relationship. i have alot of work to do on myself. however, i realize that im not a bad person, i just make extremely bad decisions in that area. i know in my heart that i am a good friend. being a good friend is very important to me. i fuck everything up once mutual fellings come into play. i will get better if i do the work.
brutal honesty is most welcome, thats why i posted this.