the_new_scum

After months of my mood fluctuating wildly when it comes to work, it seems to have reached some kind of equilibrium. I'd rather it stayed up on the positive, but instead im left with a middling feeling of malaise because the pros and cons of the job cancel each other out almost perfectly.

Pros - im getting on with the staff better than i ever have before. A couple of them used to piss me off royally but things have gotten a lot better and now its getting to the point where I consider a couple of them friends. Also its an awesome time to be a 360 owner at the moment, with shitloads of awesome games coming out that i've been getting at discounted prices and sometimes up to 4 days early

Cons - area management. They're pricks. I'm not sure why they decided to put me in an impossible position but they did. They sent me out some plans for how i should merchandise the store, then sales dropped pretty heavily and they decided it was because of the store layout. I'm getting the impression they think it was my fault for not using initiative and changing the clearly suspect plans, but then they only would've whinged had i done that.

Also theyve given me some kind of stupid development pack to do. Apparently i wont be considered for a promotion until i've completed it, which is just fine because im in no hurry. What i dont need is them chasing me up on it and treating it like its an actual task theyve given me. I wouldnt mind but it smacks of those key skills projects you'd have to do in school that didnt seem in the least bit relevant or interesting.

Well this is a non-starter. It got to the point where all of my half-prospects turned out to be dead ends and i wound up back at square one, bitter and angry. The girl that I was falling for has been awfully quiet lately. I never actually said anything to her, mostly just tiptoed around the area like i was sweeping for landmines. It was a bad sign when she turned down suggestions that we go hang out and stuff so I left that one. She's clearly not interested. I can deal.

Then i had a girl that I've known for about 2 years online text me out of the blue at around 3 in the fucking morning. The jist of her message was that she had driven past the shop and seen my through the window, suggesting that we go hang out or something. I took it with a pinch of salt because she'd been like this before, never actually finalising plans, just making broad comments about how we should do something. After a few days of pestering me and making me promise we'd do something - she went away to visit a friend in Bristol and has said nothing to me since.

I'm not convinced i'd have this much trouble if i went out more, or...you know, made converstion with girls when i do. Curse my crippling shyness and low self esteem.

Since my last journal a lot of cool people have gone grey and SGUK is somewhat quieter. At the same time I'm confident in the state of the group. There seems to be an air of rebuilding about the place, who knows....maybe President Truman will send us some money. With any luck the public meet will bring in some new faces or at the very least cement the existing members. I'm really looking forward to meeting the people I've not had chance to already