the_monster

So I made an important life decision today. I'm quite happy about it. I have decided to put personal development ahead of professional development. I have been so stuck on this whole plan for my future career that I continue to ignore the fact that my goals are rearranging. who I am is changing, and what I want is not the same. I'm an an amazing point on my life. Probably the best yet. I have a job I am enjoying. I love my coworkers. I am making new friends. I have reconnected with old friends. I have been keeping busy, with positive and enjoyable stuff, on my time off. So why rush? I'm 22. Yes, this isn't exactly what I want to be doing in 10 years, or even 5 years. But for now it's great. A year ago I was crippled with anxiety. Anxiety, specifically Generalized Anxiety Disorder, has been something I've dealt with all my life. In college, especially my last two years it was horrible. It's not that school stresses me out. I enjoy being a student. It was going to school, living, and working all within one 100 yard block. There was no escape. As someone who greatly values alone time it was torture. I graduated and my emotions evened out, but overall I wasn't feeling the greatest. I got this job, met my coworkers, and something clicked. I've never been so happy for so long. So now, half a year later I get the chance to take a step in the direction I always pictured my career going. But I'm hesitant, is that still what I want? Then I feel like if I don't take it all that school will have been in vain. No, fuck it. I have years to do that stuff. Why spoil something good? I am learning so much about myself and the world around me? I am proud of myself right now. Proud I'm sticking up for myself (against myself, odd). For now I'll follow my heart, my brain hasn't done so hot in the past.