I apologize to everyone for leaving an open interpretation. I am not leaving the site, until my gift membership runs out of course.
I actually don't have a lot of things going on right now, when it comes down to the negative/drama/stress realm. And I guess I'm so used to being stressed out and having problems all the time, that I'm just not used to having a laid back, stress-free, life.
I don't know how to react to things. I'm a lot more passive than I ever have been...and this is wierd, because usually I'm a very confrentational person...but as of late, I just don't have the energy or the care to fight things at the moment.
I guess you could say I'm in an indifferent mood.
I love those who have been here for me...but I also feel the majority of my friends do not see me as a priority to them, which I am fully able to respect and accept. I just wish I could determine who those people were, so I could let go.
Letting go seems a lot easier for me now a days. I try not to hold onto things anymore, because I realize if two people were meant to be together and/or be friends, they will find eachother eventually.
I'm just tired of the repetative cycle of the on-and-off friendships. I'd say from my past, the only people I've had a consistant friendship with recently, without drama or paranoia, is greg, grant and lauren. Even my friend Ian, we don't talk much lately, but he and I have never had problems.
I like to blame myself for the ending of friendships, because I feel like I'm this really negative person who brings people down, yet I have certain friends who I have never had confrentation with. Friends who I've spent a lot of time with. So...maybe it's not just me. I know it's not just me.
I really miss Dace, but I really don't. Sometimes when I think back about all the conversations he and I have, I feel he thinks about me on a regular basis, and wonders how I'm doing, but realizes letting go of me for a while was the best idea for the both of us. If he does feel this way, then I feel exactly the same. And sometimes, I feel he resents me...and I am the only friend from his past, he could care less for....even more so, than people who have screwed him over. *Shrugs*
I guess I'm in an over-analyzing mood, since I've actually had time to sit down and think about things and people in my life for once. I've kind of taken a break from work and what not. I'm trying to find a new job, so in the meantime, I have nothing but time to think about a plethora of things going on.
I'm happy the way things are right now. But I feel there are people I should let go of, but I'm not quite sure how to. I've never been good at it.
Well, I guess I'm just rambeling on now, so I'll go.
That's just a bit into my mind for now. I'll write more later, when I get better at sentence structure.
I actually don't have a lot of things going on right now, when it comes down to the negative/drama/stress realm. And I guess I'm so used to being stressed out and having problems all the time, that I'm just not used to having a laid back, stress-free, life.
I don't know how to react to things. I'm a lot more passive than I ever have been...and this is wierd, because usually I'm a very confrentational person...but as of late, I just don't have the energy or the care to fight things at the moment.
I guess you could say I'm in an indifferent mood.
I love those who have been here for me...but I also feel the majority of my friends do not see me as a priority to them, which I am fully able to respect and accept. I just wish I could determine who those people were, so I could let go.
Letting go seems a lot easier for me now a days. I try not to hold onto things anymore, because I realize if two people were meant to be together and/or be friends, they will find eachother eventually.
I'm just tired of the repetative cycle of the on-and-off friendships. I'd say from my past, the only people I've had a consistant friendship with recently, without drama or paranoia, is greg, grant and lauren. Even my friend Ian, we don't talk much lately, but he and I have never had problems.
I like to blame myself for the ending of friendships, because I feel like I'm this really negative person who brings people down, yet I have certain friends who I have never had confrentation with. Friends who I've spent a lot of time with. So...maybe it's not just me. I know it's not just me.
I really miss Dace, but I really don't. Sometimes when I think back about all the conversations he and I have, I feel he thinks about me on a regular basis, and wonders how I'm doing, but realizes letting go of me for a while was the best idea for the both of us. If he does feel this way, then I feel exactly the same. And sometimes, I feel he resents me...and I am the only friend from his past, he could care less for....even more so, than people who have screwed him over. *Shrugs*
I guess I'm in an over-analyzing mood, since I've actually had time to sit down and think about things and people in my life for once. I've kind of taken a break from work and what not. I'm trying to find a new job, so in the meantime, I have nothing but time to think about a plethora of things going on.
I'm happy the way things are right now. But I feel there are people I should let go of, but I'm not quite sure how to. I've never been good at it.
Well, I guess I'm just rambeling on now, so I'll go.
That's just a bit into my mind for now. I'll write more later, when I get better at sentence structure.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
You'll come to find that true friends are those that contact you when you need it least. People who are happy to be around you when you are at your best. It's easy to comfort somebody when they are in need. It's harder to be there with somebody just to be with them because it makes both people happy.
Drama is something that people thrive on and when there is no drama people will sometimes drift apart because the relationship feels stale or somewhat old. Those are the best friends to me, those people who I feel stale and old around. It's because I don't have a need to create any sort of excitement between us. I can just chill and hang with them just to be with them.
On a less serious note, I get to interview Unearth and Norma Jean tonight at the Marquee.