the_matt79

Mental Evolution

Its been a little while, which makes me mad at myself, but I have had some laptop issues that have caused this delay. I think those issues are mostly out of the way, or at least handled to the best of my ability. So thats the explanation portion of todays blog entry, wasnt that fun?

So, what do I mean by the title of this entry? For me, it is the movement forward my mind is taking on in relation to my place in this world, and where I want to be. Namely I am mentally preparing for a move, a new chapter, a new challenge set forth before me. I am surprising myself with the small changes that are going into place, or with what I am becoming comfortable with.

So what is going on with me? The first thing I have noticed is that I am transitioning to getting ready to move. I know there is a move ahead, well, we all know that, dont we? But I am starting to get away from the hold onto everything mentality that I have had in my life. I dont hoard per se, but there is definitley a feeling of that sort when looking at how I keep hold of things. I am a collector, you could say, and that is what I am dealing with now.

I know it will be easier to move if I have less stuff, but at the same time I know that I have my stuff because I want it, or wanted it, at the very least. Some things, like my DVD collection I have downsized from many cases into a few books holding their jackets and dvds. So something that would have taken a few boxes or totes, is now the size of one self contained book. Thats not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I had done that with my CD collection long ago, and it felt right to do it with the movies too.

I know I will do it to a point with my clothes as well, and depending on my exercise regime, that could be pretty simple to do as well. Dunno, what kind of action this will be, but more than likely, the work section of my wardrobe can be thrown aside more or lessdepending on what kind of job I find for my future, of course.

The really hard decision comes down to reading materialswhat to do with my books and comics? It is such an ordeal to part ways with books, and I definitely dont know what to do with my boxes upon boxes of comics. I cannot bring myself to not buy books, I have to keep with that, but the comics I might go digital one of these days, although it pains me to do so. The deal with comics,is that I like to know what is going on in all the books, which means a nice pile every month, and that means a lot of space is taken up.

Thats the key thing here, space. I look at the cost of living where I want to go, and the spacial relation to that, and I dont know how I can put the two together. Bookshelves are great, and I can utilize them, but comics dont really go on bookshelves. You cant look at the spine of a comic book and know what it is. This can be combatted by buying collected versions of the books, and maybe thats what I will do instead of digital, but thats still a lot of space to take up. At least my books can be a kind of attractive addition to a room, or I think so anyway. Guess thats all that matters in the long term.

As I organize things and get a feel for what I am doing, I come across little things that I have kept over the years, things that I thought were important, but now, I kind of question that a bit. I dont fault younger Matt for holding onto some things that I did, but the current version of me doesnt have the emotional connection to it that younger Matt did.

I guess thats a part of growing up, as much as it is getting ready to move, or maybe I am just moving on

No matter what you call it, it is interesting to see how our minds change over time, how they evolve to our circumstances, how they prepare us for the road ahead.

I have also presented myself with scenarios that I was sure I knew the answer to at one point or another, and now I am making myself think about them anew. These are akin to the life decisions that I have talked about in other entries, stuff like life, love, and my pursuit of happiness. I dont know why I thought I was solid on things, I have never been solid on things in my life. I have always had the idea of what I wanted, and I got there in my own way, and in my own time. So it has been good to look at these again, to look at what I want, and how I am willing to get them, and when.

Evolving is something we dont always realize we are doing, but when we take that step back and look, we see where we were and where were going, and thats a good thing as far as I am concerned