the_matt79

There's a girl...

...she's far away...


...we talk daily...


...she's kind of amazing...


...she hides her feelings...


...the other morning she called me and told me she loves me...


...It's a big deal because she had told me she doesn't believe in love...


...I knew she believed, just not in the kind that TV and movies cliche for us...


...she won't do long distance and I don't blame here...


...she is coming to visit me for a week in November as my date to my friends wedding...


...originally we had said that we would meet, have fun and then leave it at that...


...now I don't think I want to do that, because I love her and am sure the visit will be amazing...


...I am going to get off my ass and truly look for a job in my field anywhere out there...


...I say anywhere because she talked of her willingness to pick up and go...


...tonight I was selfish and added to her stress and saw her retreat in a way...


...we talked further before she went to sleep and I feel better about where it was left...


...I know she is worth putting forth this effort so I promised her I would...


...I hate that her stress has her worrying about life and questioning us...


...I need to think before I talk, and ask before I answer...


...I might be twisted up, but I like it, so I will run with it instead of from it like I might once have...


...I had forgotten how confusing love can be, but I honestly know it is worth it...


...that's where my head has been and that's why my blog suffers.