the_matt79

Ten Years...

First off let me briefly address those that lost their lives in the tragic events of ten years ago, you are not forgotten, you are missed and you are loved.

Ten years ago I was in Grand Forks North Dakota attending the University of North Dakota working on my bachelor's degree in Anthropology. The night of the tenth I worked at Borrowed Bucks Roadhouse, the bar I worked at during my undergrad years, and I actually didn't stay after to have beers with the boys because I had a test the next morning.

I had studied a little but I told myself to sleep, and then wake up early and head to Babcock hall so I could cram before the test. I actually woke up on time that day, something that never happened with Matt during those years, I was always late for classes and the like. Drove to campus and found a decent spot then headed over to Babcock. The anthropology lounge was empty so I hunkered down and started studying.

After a bit I heard people come in and talk a little about things that I didn't know were happening, but couldn't glean from what they were saying. I heard things like "can you believe" "that's fucked up" etc., all things that could have been something their friend did the night before, or something that happened on campus, I still had no idea. It was then that I heard that class was cancelled, and had I went straight to the door of class instead of the lounge I would have seen the note on the door that said so.

Well, hell, I was pretty ecstatic, my two hour class was cancelled, the one class of the day, I could go home and nap before I had to go to work that night, Awesome! I walked out of Babcock rejuvenated for the day, smiling...a smile that would not last.

I didn't listen to the radio back then so I was oblivious all the way back to my apartment. Once through my door I thought about eating some food, but plopped down in front of my TV and turned it on. Instantly I knew my day had changed. On my TV there was a burning Tower, something at first I thought had to have been a movie until I realized that I was on a channel that did not show movies. Then as the broadcaster talked, I heard the shock in their voice and suddenly a plane was on my screen, and I thought it looked weird that it would be flying like that, awfully low. You see I still didn't know that the first tower was burning because of something like this. Then the plane made a wide turn and I see the plane hit the second tower.

I was transfixed like countless other people were in this country and many others. I was shocked more than anything, I have never been to New York so I did not understand the enormity of what was happening other than it was a big deal. I had always seen the towers in the skyline of movies and shows, but that wouldn't prepare a person for something like that, of course nothing can prepare a person for something like that.

As the towers collapsed a new feeling came over me, up til then I had thought that a fire would be the end of it all, did not even think it would be possible to collapse something like that, but it was. The scenes of people running from the clouds of dust and debris was horrifying, as was the thought of those that had been trapped inside. As that emotion settled in, and reactions began to form in me, the broadcast changed to coverage of people in the Middle East, people that were celebrating and mocking our loss.

I am ashamed to say that at that moment I wanted to kill them, I had never felt that before, but those people, even those children, had reacted in a way that made me wish I could harm them. I now realize that this was the intention of the channel, they wanted to cause a reaction like that, and that to saddens me.

At a time when we should have been pulling together in horror, in support of those we lost, to support those that stepped up in heroism, to reach out to those we love and stand together in tough times, we instead were possibly incited to so much more.

I understand the reaction, and I own it, but I am not proud of it, and I hope that people feel the same way as well.

We should remember, we should honor, and we should never forget, but we should learn as well. We should learn about the differences in the people that caused this terrorist attack so that we do not blindly hate anyone of that nationality, religion, or background. We should learn how to live among others without fear.

Tolerance, respect, and understanding are the things that we should enter the world with, because not everyone else will, but if we do, we are more apt to get it in return.

Ten years later I honor and respect those that were tragically lost that day, I honor and respect the people that stepped up and looked danger in the face because they thought it the right thing to do, I honor and respect those that defend our rights against acts like this.

They say 9/11 never forget, and I don't see how I could.