the_matt79

Okay so a cold settled in a bit so I am just taking it easy and watching some standup on netflix instant, a little dayquil and just taking it easy.

Decided to write something out and my tumblr window was open so I typed it there, but no worries I am pasting it here as well since I am lazy and don't want to type something brand new here. yell at me if you want.

Registering of Ramifications...
As in why dont I?

All to often in life there are things to be done or dealt with to get to the next stage, the next opportunity, the next level. Some of these things are easily found, done, and learned from. Some are difficult, involving large scale moves, heart breaks, or even belief systems being turned upside down. Whatever the thing is that has to be done or dealt with, there are ramifications that lead to the next thing to be done in life.

Now obviously the next thing will not always make itself apparent, but rather sneaks up on you as youre living, lets you sometimes get comfortable then knocks ya on the head and tells you to move on, try more, do something. Thats living, we know that, and thats fine, its easy, its hard, its smiley, and its fucked, but its life.

For me a lot of the time I dont look at the ramifications an action can have on me, or future endeavors. I know that something is important but a lot of the time as long as I am living right I dont let it sink in that it could be enormous and thus I should focus on that and work on it, but another day goes by, sun comes up, sun goes down and I am the exact same as the day before.

I think part of it stems from stems from childhood and school, when I should have been learning deadlines and how to work towards them, I learned how little I had to do to get the grade I wanted. Along with this I learned how late I could wait before I had to put that amount of work in. Sometimes it works well for me, the pressure of it breaks me down momentarily but then I strive under it, get the project done, and do pretty well on it. I see now that I am 32 that this isnt the best way to be, and I am slowly taking this into consideration and trying to amend my thinking and acting, tough but dammit Im worth it.

So basically I see that I need to look ahead at what my actions could do, could cause, and act accordingly. Basically I need to start making plans, something I dont really do in life. I know what my priorities are, but I dont make plans on working towards them, and thats how I dont register the ramifications.

I know this is a bit rambled, so thanks for reading, and go ahead and give advice if you want, chime in with commiseration, whatever you wantIm here basically all day.

There, how was that...