the_matt79

The Trappings Of a Comfortable Life...

Lately I have come to the realization that I definitely need to figure out what my plan is, much more so than the vagueness I have done thus far. The life I have lived these first 32 years have made sense, and have worked out for me, but I need to zero in a bit more if I am going to live the American dream, uh, if you will.

When I leave this town behind my list of bills will increase, and I need to now get a bead on that so it won't be culture shock when I do get back out there. I can get an idea of what will be, before me and start to live accordingly now, and that is what I am going to have to do now, while life is comfortable.

At the same time I want to more closely focus in on what I truly want out of life, love, and the meaning of... Goals would be part of this, life achievements to strive for, make or break things in a significant other...

I start to wonder if I should have had these things figured out by now, more thought of at least, or does everyone wonder about this just like me? I have had achievements that I am proud of, experiences I cherish, adventures I relish, and my innner reflections often have me wondering if I am ahead of or behind the curve, and at the same time part of me knows that these are the questions that will plague most of us at least once or twice in our lives.

I know that I am staying with my current job until July because that will be 5 years and that guarantees me a retirement (albeit small) but one that leaves me with something to show for my time on the railroad. I am still looking into whether I can transfer with it as it is a good job with good benefits, but once I am vested into railroad retirement I will look into my options as well.

I know that in the midst of my planning I have to also learn to structure my free time better, more productively, in a way that will allow me to pursue the dream of writing. A dream I will make a reality, and if I fail miserably at it I not only have my education to back me up but I will also know that I at least tried.

So my comfortable ass life has made me let a few of the last years fly by without being overly productive and I no longer want to embrace that comfortableness because it does not force me to put the effort in that I should otherwise. I like where I am, but I do not love it, and I am starting to figure out what all I should be and can be doing to change that for the better.

Alas I am a work in progress, and I shall remain so for the time being, but the progress is starting to increase.