the_matt79

Realizations on Reading.

I have been reading Slaughterhouse Five the last couple days, and finished it today, and it made me realize something about the way I read, and take in literature. It also made me realize that more than likely we are meant to read books at certain times in our lives. I don't mean this in a fate sense of the word meant, but rather a comprehensive sense of the word.

You see I read Slaughterhouse Five when I was a senior in high school for my Individualized Reading class. I was a bit of an English nerd and still am, hell I hope to make a living from that love one day, and IR was taught by one of my favorite teachers Mr. Bos. He taught the upper level English classes so I got to take about 3 or 4 classes from him and was his teacher's assistant for a semester senior year as well. He was good shit, and great to talk books with.

Individualized reading was a good class, it consisted of reading a book of your choice and then taking a test on it before moving on to the next book. There was one big list for the class and as you chose a book you crossed it off the list so that no one else would read it, this was to deter cheating obviously. The grade from the class came from your results on your tests and the amount of pages you read during the semester, I believe you had to read at least one thousand to qualify for an A and then it was tiered down from there. It was a good set up as you could pick a bunch of short books or a couple big ones, whatever you wanted, you just had to make sure that you were going to read the pages you wanted to read, then you would also write down when you wanted to test on that book so that Mr. Bos would know when to have the test ready. Really it was a nice stress free class, just a bunch of people reading, or going to the library for more books, fantastic way to look at books and see what you retain for the tests.

I earned an A for the class but after reading Slaughterhose Five the last couple days I wonder at the way I read books back then, or perhaps what my priorities with literature were at the time. I say it like this because at that time in my life I was convinced that I wanted to work in museums for the rest of my life and I would do whatever was necessary to get to that way of life. I always enjoyed reading, but I think that back then I was reading for stories and entertainments sake and that now that I want to pursue writing or at least keep my future options open I read for the substance and the turn of a phrase. Now that I know there is no absolutes for my future, rather a list of possibiities that I set in front of myself, well I look at things differently and books are definitely one of these things.

When I started reading Slaughterhouse I knew that I had read one Vonnegut book in my life, but not quite sure what on it was, figuring it was more than likely Slaughterhouse though. All I could really remember was that there was a character that was in an alien zoo and flitted about in time, but not really anything else. Once I started reading I remembered that this was indeed the book I read, and started to marvel at what was there and what I left out of my memory. I didn't really remember any of the war subject matter, or even why it was titled as it was, which really is the jist of the book, and the thing that everything else radiates out from. So that is what got me thining about my beginning paragraph here.

I now firmly believe that there are books that I should read in different phases of my life, and also why it is so much fun to go back to books I have read so that I could pick up new things. I am meant to read these books when I first do, and take from them what I will, and if something sticks with me (whether consciously or subconsciously) then I will return to it when I can take more from it. I think that is why the classics are the classics and "pop" literature is why it is, and I think both have places in this world and am truly glad both exist.

There are many things that are good to re-visit and some that are not, and I suppose that is why there is the saying "you can't go home again". I think memories can be built up in our heads and when we try to go back to a situation like that again it can be less of an experience and sometimes cheapen our memories, but sometimes those situations are unavoidable, and sometimes we are just gluttons for punishment.

What other situations and actual things do you think are like this? I am sure there are many and now I am curious.