Where am I these days?
Now by that I mean figuratively as I know where I am physically. It's amazing how I can sit down and figure out exactly what I want to do with my life, and what steps I need to take to get there, but for some reason I can't pick up my feet and take the first of those many steps.
Why can I sit down and think so clearly about the things set in front of me, yet when it comes to taking action I am suddenly the kid who has to go through kindergarten all over again. You know the kid, he's cute enough, get's the general idea of everything, but when it comes to cutting in a straight line, he's all zig zaggy. Yep that's me at the moment.
I have everythign I need to take the first steps right in front of me, or rather behind me in a pile on the table over there. It is just sitting there waiting for me, all my research and partial writing, simply waiting for me to finish it, yet I have let it sit in various piles for quite some time now and just continue to do so. On a creative note, that pile of notes and wriitng is in notebooks back in my room waiting patiently for me.
I know I am only 29 years old, but 30 is coming on quickly and I had a completely different picture in my mind of where I would be at 30. It's not to say that I am unhappy where I am right now, I am blessed to have a wonderful support system of family and friends and I would be lost without them, I just wish I would push myself more than what I do. I don't want to rely solely on another person to get motivated and pushed forward, but I have come to the conclusion that when I do find the woman I settle down with, it would probably be best if she was overly decisive as I am indecisive as hell, also it wouldn't hurt if she was a motivator as I can get lost in the shuffle pretty easily.
I guess it comes down to the fact that I need a muse more than anything. The Greeks had it right when they decided that there were certain entities that inspired the various aspects of the world and helped those that created. I simply need to find a muse, shouldn't be hard right?
Now by that I mean figuratively as I know where I am physically. It's amazing how I can sit down and figure out exactly what I want to do with my life, and what steps I need to take to get there, but for some reason I can't pick up my feet and take the first of those many steps.
Why can I sit down and think so clearly about the things set in front of me, yet when it comes to taking action I am suddenly the kid who has to go through kindergarten all over again. You know the kid, he's cute enough, get's the general idea of everything, but when it comes to cutting in a straight line, he's all zig zaggy. Yep that's me at the moment.
I have everythign I need to take the first steps right in front of me, or rather behind me in a pile on the table over there. It is just sitting there waiting for me, all my research and partial writing, simply waiting for me to finish it, yet I have let it sit in various piles for quite some time now and just continue to do so. On a creative note, that pile of notes and wriitng is in notebooks back in my room waiting patiently for me.
I know I am only 29 years old, but 30 is coming on quickly and I had a completely different picture in my mind of where I would be at 30. It's not to say that I am unhappy where I am right now, I am blessed to have a wonderful support system of family and friends and I would be lost without them, I just wish I would push myself more than what I do. I don't want to rely solely on another person to get motivated and pushed forward, but I have come to the conclusion that when I do find the woman I settle down with, it would probably be best if she was overly decisive as I am indecisive as hell, also it wouldn't hurt if she was a motivator as I can get lost in the shuffle pretty easily.
I guess it comes down to the fact that I need a muse more than anything. The Greeks had it right when they decided that there were certain entities that inspired the various aspects of the world and helped those that created. I simply need to find a muse, shouldn't be hard right?
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thanks love