the_happy_pig

Well, there goes another weekend. This one was spent with my father and his family. Saturday was spent wandering round various little pubs in the home of the UK's second largest fishing fleet. Sunday was spent at the beach,and quite unlike me, I was good with the sun screen, but I'm now a victim of some quite localised sunburn where I couldn't quite reach with the cream.

I find the relationship with my Dad and his family quite strange. I don't really view his daughters as my sisters at all, a fair proportion of the fault is probably mine, but I just don't know them in the slightest. Dad is tremendously proud of their achievements, and he will always brandish their school report cards at the first opportunity to show me how well they're doing, and doing well they most certainly are. But shortly after that the atmosphere always gets a little stilted, neither his wife or he get me or anything about me in the slightest. I'll always get the polite question about what I've been doing, and as soon as I reply, their eyes seem to turn glassy, and then they'll continue with their own thread of conversation as if I hadn't even said anything. Not that I don't get on well with them, in fact I'm massively proud of him for being able to completely turn his life around - I stopped living with him when I was 8, and he was a broken alcoholic. But our lives just seem to be poles apart now.

Feeling quite down at the moment too. I seem to have that feeling that nothing I have to say is really worth anything, so I've been steadfastly avoiding contact, and getting tetchy with people that don't quite deserve it. I don't quite get it, things are going pretty smoothly at the moment, but I just have that sense of something foreboding that's making me want to batten down the hatches and not make myself any sort of target at the moment. I'm sure it'll pass.