He will lie between resentment and regret.
He shed his grace as certian as a snake sheds its skin.
Laid waste to a wealth of talent -
His curse of being blessed with treasures that just weren't gold enough.
I think I'm going to start running again...I'll find out if that's figurative running, or real running sometime. Nothing going wrong...well nothing on the surface. I'm doing my normal freak out routine. I'm sure I'm the only one that knows that routine...well maybe not the only one, but there are few that do, and even fewer that read this that will know.
Got in touch with the college, I go in tomorrow to talk with them and get things squared away. Kinda intimidating...I hate talking to authority figures and explaining to them that there is no excuse for me fucking up...I just fuck up because I wanted to do something else at the time that was much less productive and ended up providing little to no enjoyment. Fuck me I should grow up.
I'm learning that, as I'm sure alot of people are, I'm into instant gratification rather than looking at things in the long term. This is alot of my problem...It's not as if I think I'll be dead before I see the fruits of my labors. It's not as if I don't think I'll see them...It's that I want to see them right fucking now. In my mind, you gave now, you get now. Otherwise...why the fuck bother? Well...because sometimes you have to put in alot now to get out what you need later. I'm finding this out as I'm looking to my future.
The work schedule is frustrating me. Because we're understaffed it's hard to get consecutive days off, especially on the weekends. It's also hard to get days off if your fucking boss doesn't pay attention to your request for time off. Fuckers! Blah...
