the_deacon

I think i have just dealt with the most horrible thing a person could face. I worked a long shift then went to see my dad after work at home. He went on hospice last week after coming home from the hospital. His decline is so rapid that I am shocked, even as a nurse and watching many of these things. I can't help but be caught off guard. Even though last fall with the initial diagnosis. I knew the end result would be. But he was still able to walk and interact and be active. They finally admitted the other day that all the chemo and radiation did nothing to assist him or help him live a quality end. It just wasn't there. the meds and treatments just made him sit at home more and not be able to do what he needed to do.

So today, after being the strong one for everyone...i broke down and cried like never before. my dad has to be so frightened. Knowing you are on your way to saying a final goodbye. It has been a rough week and I know the upcoming days are going to be tougher than ever.