the_cheat

*sigh* Back home again. It's very odd to think of coming back to Portland as coming back "home." After all this time of being up here, I'm still not used to the idea. I probably never will.

I had a serious case of homesickness while driving home today...I didn't want to leave that stupid little podunk town. I broke down crying in the car while I was driving. It all started because a damned towel that smelled like the laundry always does at my parents' house, how almost everything smells in that house...a wonderful clean smell that you could never get enough of. No matter what I do here, I just can't get my laundry to smell like that.

I miss all of my friends...Especially Nick and Becca...I hate to admit it, but I miss Klamath Falls. I don't think of anything around here as really "mine." I don't really own anything at the moment, I'm just borrowing stuff. (Or renting).

I want to feel like I belong somewhere again, I want that sense of permanence. I haven't felt that for a very, very long time.

It didn't help that I hung out with all my old friends at a big graduation bash and remembered all the wonderful times we've shared together, all the memories. I just don't have that many memories here with that many people. I miss going to parties and knowing everyone there, knowing their names by heart and being able to joke around with them and being comfortable enough with them to show off my nipple piercing.

I want to feel comfortable again. Yeah, that's it. Comfortable.

~T.C.