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the8bitkid

Holland

Member Since 2007

Followers 261 Following 293

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Wednesday Jan 04, 2012

Jan 3, 2012
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I know I'm not supposed to do things like this, and I know I'm supposed to be moving on with my life, but today I accidentally came across the ex's tumblr...
I have a bad habit of needing answers and when she dumped me I couldn't get any, she just gave me excuses to not have to talk about it. Things like her being a financial burden on me, but honestly I couldn't give a shit about money when it comes to love. Or That she needed to be alone and figure herself out, focus on her before she could focus on somebody else, be independent. We lived together, told each other we loved each other constantly, evan talked about marriage on more than one occasion. I was actually going to ask her before Christmas if she hadn't ended it. So basically I got the "It's not you, it's me". Well back to stumbling upon her tumblr...
I was doing ok, starting to live again, but then I Looked, I shouldn't have, but I needed to know the answers, well I found them. In less than 15 days from dumping me she already had some new guy, she sure figured things out for herself and learned her independence quickly. On top of all that I find out she thinks our relationship, her moving in with me(which was her idea) and pretty much everything about us was a mistake, a failure in her life.
I gave her everything I could, loved her with every ounce of my being, I did everything in my power to make her happy. I would have left everything behind for her, given anything in the world for her, but It wasn't enough.
She destroyed me and I'm afraid to fall in love again, I'm afraid of giving my heart to someone in fear that they'll throw it away. I'm afraid I'll never find someone. I'm afraid no one will ever want me. I don't want to feel like this, live like this, be like this. I've done so many things wrong in my life. This is the icing on the cake.

I'm terrified of love and it's all I've ever wanted...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
bza:
dude.
she is NOT worth your time.
you are amazing.
awesome.
ridiculously good looking.
talented!
you know how many babes probably want to date you?!
if i were single... i'd be trying to work something out FOR SURE. hahaha wink
just try your hardest to think positive, don't waste your time thinking about her, it's useless, she's seriously not worth any more of your time.
and body who is willing to treat you like THAT... waste of a human being i think.
take lots of photos and hang with your buds and cat to take your mind off of it.
trust me, she's a god damn IDIOT to let go of you.
you're a keeper.

don't be terrified of love!
you were in love with a piece of shit for a human being!!!!!
you're young still!
there's PLENTY of fish in the sea wink
smile

PS-oh the handsomeness.
lovelovelovelovelovelove
Jan 4, 2012
roxiebeee:
It took me years to be fully over my break up with the ex. Now we're great friends and I also realize now that he's bat-shit crazy and I believe we were together for so long. I'm soooooo happy now! Dude, its going to get better biggrin
Jan 4, 2012

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