HANDCREAM!!! Splody fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Yup.
I am officially losing my mind again. Why can't I stop this from happening? I get a month or two of comfort and clarity and then WHAM! I'm spinning off though some hallucinatory rosebush screaming, clenching and grinding my teeth, shaking my head hard to spill out some of what's happening and slow down the process so I don't lose my grip. WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME??? I done ate your cheese. I have an optimistic interpretation of this process. What suffers is my surface mind. The not-me which I use as an interactive interface for living, through which I percieve and feel. As it suffers, so do I. We are bound together in this time and place, my anchor and I. I spend a couple months gathering information, and then I spend a while forcibly transforming the not-me in accordance with this new data. I am not a gentle lover, though my love is divine in it's everlasting. Yo momma IS a combat boot!! I start the transformation very conciously (though many of my triggers are pre-programmed) but once it starts I feel like I'm out of control, and it hurts. I want to break everything around me and rebuild it unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Burning.
I am officially losing my mind again. Why can't I stop this from happening? I get a month or two of comfort and clarity and then WHAM! I'm spinning off though some hallucinatory rosebush screaming, clenching and grinding my teeth, shaking my head hard to spill out some of what's happening and slow down the process so I don't lose my grip. WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME??? I done ate your cheese. I have an optimistic interpretation of this process. What suffers is my surface mind. The not-me which I use as an interactive interface for living, through which I percieve and feel. As it suffers, so do I. We are bound together in this time and place, my anchor and I. I spend a couple months gathering information, and then I spend a while forcibly transforming the not-me in accordance with this new data. I am not a gentle lover, though my love is divine in it's everlasting. Yo momma IS a combat boot!! I start the transformation very conciously (though many of my triggers are pre-programmed) but once it starts I feel like I'm out of control, and it hurts. I want to break everything around me and rebuild it unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Burning.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
huntersmencken:
Indeed! Leyner is a font of lyric goodness and I do my best to be his evangalist. I've got a Team Leyner ball cap, stickers for my laptop, and even Team Leyner pj's! 
necia:
No, but I do have all of the necessary ingredients for a Tequila Sunrise. Those chill me out. 