thatwhichisnot

Oh my god my world is ending. Wait, what? Fuck that. I'm having a BALL!! Did I tell you folks I drive a cop car now? It's a retired highway patrol car (crown victoria) which I got at a police auction for a fiew grand. It runs great, kicks ass, makes the people in front of me slow down, and eats dinosaurs like you wouldn't believe. I haven't been able to name it yet. Previous car names are as follows: Evil Weevil, Armadillo Gang Fuck, and Dumpster. Dumpster is still out on the lawn making a brown spot in the grass and staring evilly at my much nicer new cop car. I'm going to get a spot light and stalk security at my old campus. Those guys were an eternal pain in my ass. The car seems to have killed my anti-cop mojo. I see them everywhere now. But now I'm one of them.

I spent $140 dollars on my last goddamn bar tab (two weeks). Want to come have me buy you drinks? It just so happens that I'm way too friendly. Having a discount always does this to me. The hot new bartending lady with the sexy Georgia accent isn't helping. The guy who knows how to make a martini just the way I like it isn't helping either.

Me gonna go see the Mountain Goats in Durham something like a month from now (or something). Fuck you guys! I'm gonna try to take my favorite goat farming lady with me. Isn't that cute?

Sushi and whiskey for dinner!