Once upon a time, I ate myself. I started with my toes. It took five hours.

Then, while drifting in the void where you go if you eat yourself, I drank whiskey. I saw that it was good.

Thus was a new universe born within the void. It all started with whiskey. I drank the whiskey and saw that it was good, and so it was, and so was all.
It was pretty neat, really. It's amazing how far things can go once you get started.

Now people call that place Hell and say you don't want to go there. It's like having somebody talk all the people on your friends list into removing themselves. Just a bunch of malicious losers, really. Fuck 'em if they can't take a damn good joke and a whole new reality.