thatothergrif

I've never been much on opening up on here or anywhere else but I need to find an outlet. I feel like shit and I'm unhappy. I don't like where I work or where I live and I don't know what to do about it. Every time I try to make a change in my life I end up fucking it all up. I had planned on being in Texas by this time but what do I do? get a DUI this spring so now I'm stuck here just that much longer and most of my savings is gone. This is just my latest stunt, it seems like I sabotage every opportunity and decent relationship. Used to be I would find some reason or person other than myself to blame all this on but I know it's my own fault yet I can't seem to figure out why I do it. It's extremely depressing and what's worse is I don't trust anyone around me enough to confide in about how I really feel or what my ambitions are. it seems like it's been such a long time since I've had a true friend that I can handle me being completely blunt about all the crazy shit that goes though my head on a daily basis. I'm at the point that I just want to scream FUCK at every person that talks to me. I'm tired of being nice to everyone and getting walked on for my trouble. I'm sick of putting my hand out to help and getting bitten in return. That's it for today I think this is putting me in a worse mood but then it feels better to unload a little.