thateagleguy

Today I am just sideways. Pretty early in the day I was of the opinion of: "Fuck This". I somewhat successfully pulled off convincing the wife all was well. Granted, I only had to front for about an hour. All that hour she was otherwise engaged with her own start of the day's business. Not really sure why I am running afoul of the days flow. I suspect that I may have entered the personal inventory that comes about from an impending birthday. For some reason people (myself included) tend to compare themselves to other people to make themselves feel less accomplished. For instance, When my father was 35: I was born, he had already sired 3 other kids, raised 2 of those, become a millionaire, built and moved into his customized dream home, and turned his back on corporate America to be his own boss a few times. I on the other hand: no kids, don't make enough money to get a credit card, live in a townhouse (that is an apartment with a mortgage), worked for several corporations and currently am at a supposed non-profit that is not really because we have municipal overlords. Not shitting you here. I spent about 35 minutes this morning wondering aloud and internally if there was a way to get paid to simply be married and hang out with my wife. I would gladly work overtime on that job. What is the dress code for a stay at home hubby? Dads wear cargo shorts, polo shirts, and gas station sunglasses. I have seen them. Maybe they give you the rules when you pick up the kid from the maternity ward at the hospital. Like "Okay, Dad. Here is the kid. Do you have the car seat installed? Good. Now, here is your new dress code pamphlet. You have 6 months to comply and must maintain until all children have reached puberty. At that point is does not matter what you wear as you will embarrass your children no matter. If Johnny Depp's daughters are embarrassed by him then the rest of us mere mortals have neither a prayer nor a whisper of hope. Now, go pull around the SUV or minivan to pick up the mother of your child and the constant reminder that you will die sooner rather than later. I sometimes go out in disguise as a Dad for a few reasons: it is comfy, it is easy, and I am a mostly white, straight, male and thus I am expected to be fashion illiterate and not cool in any way shape or form. We have been trying to start a family lately. I mention this because it leads us to the thought that has been reoccurring over and over through the day. What do I want to do before I am a father? What will seem like a poor choice after? What seems fun and interesting now that will seem like a waste of money and possibly dangerous after. First thought is a motorcycle. I think that is the first thing that makes the list of things that I would do without kids that I will not do with kids. You know what medical examiners call motorcyclists that dont wear helmets? Organ donors. Once you bring another life into the world and start a family you are not just looking out for you and your spouse. You have a responsibility to that new life. Everything you do from that moment of conception is not just for the two of you. I believe you must be careful what you wish for. As of late I have been wishing for a change in my life.