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thanatogenous

Chicago

SG Since 2008

Followers 4925 Following 2805

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Thursday Jun 07, 2012

Jun 7, 2012
4
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Life has been a road of hills and valleys for me as of late, antagonized by the internal struggle of optimism and pessimism; of self-hate and self-love. I need to find a common ground and I'm making progress, even if its at a snail's pace.

I've been working a lot and getting comfortable in my new position at the mortuary. I just embalm, dress and casket now, which is a much needed change form having to deal with the public. I work a 40 hr work week so its left me a lot of time for soul searching and exploring.

Went to a dilapidated naval base. It was so surreal and reminded me of what it would be like after the apocalypse.

I didn't have the best view for the Planting Moon Eclipse but it made some awesome shadows in the house.

The eclipse was a reminder of our insignificance in this vast cosmos and was a turning point for me. The Dali Lama says that the point of life is to be happy and I agree with this completely. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and I vow to chase it every moment I'm alive.
Coming out of a year of deep depression and suicidal tendencies has been more difficult than I could have imagined. I have changed my lifestyle; I work out often and eat naturally, very low carb/gluten, high protein and vegetables. Its been making a big difference in my mood swings and lack of motivation. Although I did just overdo it and had a bad day where I was weak and completely unmotivated. I'm just eager to look and feel better so I push it to hard, I have to take it slow, ease into it.
Another factor that I notice contributed to my physical insecurities was that I haven't really been involved in this site as much as I used to be. SG has given me opportunities I would have never had without this community but also has caused me some heartache and disappointment. I have learned that even though we can't control the world, we can help to shape our destiny in how we view certain situations. In short, try to look on the bright side and act accordingly. I am looking forward to lurking around SG and going to events more often.

doolittle gifted this awesome shirt to me via delivery by Blanch last time I was in AZ. I love it and it has become one of my favorite shirts now! Thanks so much ladies!
I also have the amazing opportunity to attend SDCC so I have been contemplating wardrobe choices and obsessing a little on what I should wear. Any suggestions from folks that go to these sorts of things often? I have a million options if it was a tattoo convention, but comic con O_o
Another venture is to get the fuck outta CA and move back across the Mississippi. I'm trying to find work in East Tennessee, near the smokies. I want to have a small farm, be a taxidermy and live a completely sustainable existence. A girl can dream right? wink
Catch ya on the flip side skull

VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
kemper:
I didn't know you are going to be at SDCC! Can't wait to meet you!
Jul 8, 2012
king:
i miss you and i heart you. thank you for the letter, it's timing was impecable.
Jul 10, 2012

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