texhop58

I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I feel like writing here seems to be a good outlet. And I need to do it more to help with stress. I don’t worry about people judging me (more then likely no one will even respond) here like I do On personal social media. But I’m so worn down and tired. These past 6 months with corona have been mentally hard on me. So I’ll admit I’m kind of a “depression-holic”. I’m naturally kind of a down person internally even though I hide it to the world. But I had found an outlet for it, and from about late 2018 to March 2020 I was the happiest I had ever been. I had found my niche in the community with coaching sports, working on community boards, working out and a few other things. I still really didn’t have any friends though. But once corona started shutting done everything I was doing to better myself, I found myself in a deeper Low then I Have been in a long time. Almost like a roller coaster now. Then work was overflowed with covid patients and it was a beating every night at the hospital. I realized I had dropped pretty low after a birthday arguement with a friend of my wife and mine. (That’s a whole different story lol) and decided it was time to right myself again. I start working out 2-3 times a week again, started running a volunteer sport practice and this weekend did a fundraiser for a local club. I know I still have a long way to go to get back to where I was this time last year in happiness, but I know I can. I just wished I had more friends to just vent to sometimes and help me get through it, but it’s hard meeting people the older you get it seems. Probably doesn’t help that I always worry what people think and have a lack of self confidence (even though I had gained some during that positive time).