texax7

I left the group home today and am still in intensive outpatient therapy each day from 9-3. I am really working on fixing my core issues this time. I don't know what will happen with my boyfriend.

I am trying to focus on myself and have that be the only thing that matters. Getting well for myself. I hate being borderline, but there it is. I just have to continue to try to fix my life or I will never have what I want.

It's been a month since I went into the hospital, and he broke up with me. I saw him 4 days ago. He let me kiss him and is conflicted about his feelings towards me.

He is willing to date me again, and see if I truely change this time. I am trying so hard to believe in postiive thinking, and finally dealing with core issues. I hope it isn't too late, but I wont kill myself now if it is. I know if it doesn't work out, eventually we will be friends.

This is the most real and grown up thing ever. But if I am to get what I want, I have to fix myself first, and maybe he will still be there.

I know he still loves me. But I have abused him, two suicide attempts. It is a lot for one person to take. But I love him, and I hope that is enough in the end. I wish he knew that he could trust me now. But that will take time. I pray for him to heal from what I have done.
Peace.