valentines is coming up, Braiden' has dropped clues as what he has in store for me... I'm not good with surprises.. As a matter of fact I hate them! Ive always known what I was getting for Christmas birthdays /// Ive always managed to figure it out.. so I've already found out what it is... 
I'm still mesmerized by it... HONESTLY,,, its the most breath taking gesture by him yetand it wasnt rushed or pushed in some ways I feel its exactly what this relationship needed.. Something materialistic to pin point both our motives in life.. alittle symbol of our time spent working and building a bond Unlike any other.. no its not a wedding ring...or an engagement ring.. Its. (a promise ring. ) its a start in series of rings a man gives a woman.. its a small token of his feelings .. And I cant believe he thought it all out. And after everything, all the weight ive gained how much ive changed (in my eyes for the worst) .. someone still loves this fat laduh ! Not only someone . But someone I too still am completely devoted to... As cheesy as it is. I dont care,,,, its not like were getting married, and if we did that wouldnt be anytime soon but I think this has definitely taken our relationship to a better understanding in general I feel like, maybe its too soon sorta,,, even though its been 3 years,,, from the beginning Ive always felt I tried to be mature about our relationship. It took me 9 months just to say I love you its like breaking that barrier .. I mean, Ive be infatuated for a long time.. But when it comes down to it,, 3 years isnt really that long.. I dont want to break up with braiden I dont think I ever will its a very solid feeling. And its something im completely passionate about I guess Im just kind of worried what everyone else will think. I dont want to lose the respect my family has towards our situation it took me a lot of time to balance that out.. After braiden moved in with me after only a year of being together, not married, not even out of high school I couldnt even look at to my grandparents I feel instantly ashamed im very insecure because of what I look like.. especially around his parents we were insanely foolish.. Ill admit it.. and Ive just gotten to the point where my grandparents completely accept what ive done, and that Ive stuck threw itand I think braidens parents have gotten the idea that, braiden actually does like me a lot, and I think they might kind of like me a little I mean love isnt cheap in my eyes I feel the idea of him buying me that ring is appropriate and if he feels right about doing it, and the fact that it was his ideaim flattered. Extremely flattered. And im going to accept it another thought, about it is, my best friend got a promise ring for Christmas and its kind of awkward, that im getting one only 2 months after her (braiden didnt even know she got one though) after all our situation is completely different from hers and her boyfriendsAnd I guess other people did that she knows. I dunno it just feels kind of over ratedSo it kind of makes it look cheap I cant be selfish,,,, but this is MY YEAR to get onewe waited and worked up to this moment. hehe. Jkbut to each his own im happy for her either way..so im sticking with the fact, that braiden thought of it all on his ownconsidering he didnt know she has one.I think he still doesnt know.. I dunno. Regardless of who else just so happen to get one. or what anyone thinks I love it. And thats all that matters !
I'm still mesmerized by it... HONESTLY,,, its the most breath taking gesture by him yetand it wasnt rushed or pushed in some ways I feel its exactly what this relationship needed.. Something materialistic to pin point both our motives in life.. alittle symbol of our time spent working and building a bond Unlike any other.. no its not a wedding ring...or an engagement ring.. Its. (a promise ring. ) its a start in series of rings a man gives a woman.. its a small token of his feelings .. And I cant believe he thought it all out. And after everything, all the weight ive gained how much ive changed (in my eyes for the worst) .. someone still loves this fat laduh ! Not only someone . But someone I too still am completely devoted to... As cheesy as it is. I dont care,,,, its not like were getting married, and if we did that wouldnt be anytime soon but I think this has definitely taken our relationship to a better understanding in general I feel like, maybe its too soon sorta,,, even though its been 3 years,,, from the beginning Ive always felt I tried to be mature about our relationship. It took me 9 months just to say I love you its like breaking that barrier .. I mean, Ive be infatuated for a long time.. But when it comes down to it,, 3 years isnt really that long.. I dont want to break up with braiden I dont think I ever will its a very solid feeling. And its something im completely passionate about I guess Im just kind of worried what everyone else will think. I dont want to lose the respect my family has towards our situation it took me a lot of time to balance that out.. After braiden moved in with me after only a year of being together, not married, not even out of high school I couldnt even look at to my grandparents I feel instantly ashamed im very insecure because of what I look like.. especially around his parents we were insanely foolish.. Ill admit it.. and Ive just gotten to the point where my grandparents completely accept what ive done, and that Ive stuck threw itand I think braidens parents have gotten the idea that, braiden actually does like me a lot, and I think they might kind of like me a little I mean love isnt cheap in my eyes I feel the idea of him buying me that ring is appropriate and if he feels right about doing it, and the fact that it was his ideaim flattered. Extremely flattered. And im going to accept it another thought, about it is, my best friend got a promise ring for Christmas and its kind of awkward, that im getting one only 2 months after her (braiden didnt even know she got one though) after all our situation is completely different from hers and her boyfriendsAnd I guess other people did that she knows. I dunno it just feels kind of over ratedSo it kind of makes it look cheap I cant be selfish,,,, but this is MY YEAR to get onewe waited and worked up to this moment. hehe. Jkbut to each his own im happy for her either way..so im sticking with the fact, that braiden thought of it all on his ownconsidering he didnt know she has one.I think he still doesnt know.. I dunno. Regardless of who else just so happen to get one. or what anyone thinks I love it. And thats all that matters !
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[Edited on Feb 22, 2006 4:07PM]
[Edited on Feb 22, 2006 4:07PM]