Well... It's Christmas Eve and I am alone. No one to talk to. I already called my mom and made sure she was happy today. My brothers talkin' to his finance'. Maybe next year she'll be here from Mexico and he'll be happier than this year. But he's glad he's talking to her. Me... I'm alone in my room. Wishing that I had some one to talk to tonight. Some one to see. The last 14 years Christmas was wrecked by an old stepfather thats now gone. This year my mothers remarried and shes on the other side of the country. My pug's sleepin'. So I can't talk to him even.
I feel terribly alone. I hate this feeling. I have it so often now. I moved fro that small town to escape the loneliness but I feel just as lonely if not more now. I find my self in my house here in Utah with no one to talk to on Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is going to feel like a depressing hell. I know it sounds odd but I wish I was working. That way I didn't have to think about how alone I am here. No friends to see. No family to hug. No beauty to embrace. Soon New Years Eve will be upon me and I will look back on this year and wonder if I have wasted it....
I moved from my apartment in AZ in which I had 2 room mates. I had 2 jobs. One at Chili's which I despised and one at a salon in which I loved. I lost friends and people I cared about due to the lies they chose to tell me to my face. In a small town every one knows whats happening and the fact I was told the truth by every one else before those friends told me was heart breaking. I couldn't live there any more. Seeing them day after day. So I moved. A very quick impromptu move! I moved north. To Utah from Arizona. To a place where I know nobody. I have nothing here. I am just hoping something shines for me. I have a job. I own my own 5 bed 2 bath house at the age of 24. And here I sit.... in my house alone. On this day..... Feeling this heart ache.
I have said for some time now a saying that holds true to life as true as anything as far as I can see. "What is a Life With Out Love but a Long Wait to Die?" At this point it feels like the wait has begun. I wish and want for a girl I can talk to and embrace. Some one to wake up next to and love. Some one I can draw with. Some one to sit and listen to music with. A girl I can just love. A hopeless romantic always causes himself the most heart ache. "For A Heavy Heart Weighs Down A Weary Mind". Yes another saying of mine.
So I sit alone, in my room. "What's to come of tomorrow, when today seems never to end?" It's been a long day. A holiday based around love and I feel so very alone. Missing the one thing I have always wanted more than life itself..... love.
I feel terribly alone. I hate this feeling. I have it so often now. I moved fro that small town to escape the loneliness but I feel just as lonely if not more now. I find my self in my house here in Utah with no one to talk to on Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is going to feel like a depressing hell. I know it sounds odd but I wish I was working. That way I didn't have to think about how alone I am here. No friends to see. No family to hug. No beauty to embrace. Soon New Years Eve will be upon me and I will look back on this year and wonder if I have wasted it....
I moved from my apartment in AZ in which I had 2 room mates. I had 2 jobs. One at Chili's which I despised and one at a salon in which I loved. I lost friends and people I cared about due to the lies they chose to tell me to my face. In a small town every one knows whats happening and the fact I was told the truth by every one else before those friends told me was heart breaking. I couldn't live there any more. Seeing them day after day. So I moved. A very quick impromptu move! I moved north. To Utah from Arizona. To a place where I know nobody. I have nothing here. I am just hoping something shines for me. I have a job. I own my own 5 bed 2 bath house at the age of 24. And here I sit.... in my house alone. On this day..... Feeling this heart ache.
I have said for some time now a saying that holds true to life as true as anything as far as I can see. "What is a Life With Out Love but a Long Wait to Die?" At this point it feels like the wait has begun. I wish and want for a girl I can talk to and embrace. Some one to wake up next to and love. Some one I can draw with. Some one to sit and listen to music with. A girl I can just love. A hopeless romantic always causes himself the most heart ache. "For A Heavy Heart Weighs Down A Weary Mind". Yes another saying of mine.
So I sit alone, in my room. "What's to come of tomorrow, when today seems never to end?" It's been a long day. A holiday based around love and I feel so very alone. Missing the one thing I have always wanted more than life itself..... love.