No raving beauty
Shes got a good heart
Hes got escaping
Down to an art
-L7, This Aint Pleasure
As the day of reckoning (aka, my birthday) approaches, I begin to think of all the reasons I am glad that I am the age I am. One important one, I have come to realize, is that I can now safely date men both a decade older and a decade younger without anyone getting arrested. A gay male friend of mine who manages a store nearby told me once that he only hires young, attractive men; he asked me a few weeks ago if I have an age preference (is he pimping them out on the side??!), since his employees range from 17 to 25. Hmmmm, 17 is a little on the pedophilia end: thanks, but no thanks. I have a rule: never date someone who could chronologically be your parent or your child. I learned the former when I was 19 and dated my college advisor who was 42. When he pulled out his photo album and I saw that he had facial hair in the year I was born I was more than a little creeped out! <<sigh>> Again, although my goal had been to get some kind of action (Im not counting the exam yesterday) before this Sunday, prospects are grim. But there are worse things to suffer from! And I have plenty of batteries...
I went to my friends sisters wake tonight. A few hours before, she called frantic because she had dyed her hair (she has some grey) in preparation for it, but one of her plastic gloves leaked and dyed her left hand black. I picked up anything and everything from Sally Beauty Supply and she scrubbed and scrubbed, but no dice (or should I say, no dyce heh heh punny). I advised her to pull a Bob Dole and hold a pen in her hand during the service. After the wake, a bunch of us hung around, drinking melancholically, and the topic of what wed like done to our bodies once we are dead came up. Jen and I told Mindy that if she dies, we plan to break into the funeral home after she is embalmed, strip her naked, and take pictures of us molesting her to send to her psycho control-freak ex-girlfriend. Mindy said she secretly wants a Viking funeral when she dies, so we agreed to steal her body from the morgue, lay it on a raft, set it on fire, and push it down the Connecticut River. We will plan stops along the way, like the Tour de France, from Vermont to Connecticut so that tourists can wave at her charred corpse floating by. Of course, Mindy pointed out that there are locks in the river along the way, so chances are, shed become stuck in one. Damn! So much for final estate planning.
Wayne is already planning for the big Halloween party this year (68 days left!). He has hired some entertainment and is working on his costume. Last year, I had planned to go as a butterfly but was lazy and didnt make the wings in time. I ended up with a nurses costume (which I still have and am saving for other occasions ). Rather than scramble at the last minute this year, I have decided to start planning in advance. Here is one idea:
Snow White (haha the irony of me in this costume kills me)
I cancelled my weekend trip to Vegas and will be transferring the plane reservation to a future flight. A local songwriter is giving a last performance on Friday before he leaves for England, and I really want to go. Vegas will hold off until I go with the Fantastic Four in the fall.
Lastly, I got my license retaken today. With my growing-out hair, I look like a reject from the Chicago cast. I hope the tour continues, at least until this license expires. Also, dammit... I'm starting to get that feeling that I miss being in love. Somebody slap me. ....No, harder!
Lets grab the world by the scruff of the neck
And drink it down deeply: Lets love it to death
Youre not the only ship adrift on this ocean
Youre not the only one thats feeling lonesome
Youre not the only one with mixed emotions
-Rolling Stones
Shes got a good heart
Hes got escaping
Down to an art
-L7, This Aint Pleasure
As the day of reckoning (aka, my birthday) approaches, I begin to think of all the reasons I am glad that I am the age I am. One important one, I have come to realize, is that I can now safely date men both a decade older and a decade younger without anyone getting arrested. A gay male friend of mine who manages a store nearby told me once that he only hires young, attractive men; he asked me a few weeks ago if I have an age preference (is he pimping them out on the side??!), since his employees range from 17 to 25. Hmmmm, 17 is a little on the pedophilia end: thanks, but no thanks. I have a rule: never date someone who could chronologically be your parent or your child. I learned the former when I was 19 and dated my college advisor who was 42. When he pulled out his photo album and I saw that he had facial hair in the year I was born I was more than a little creeped out! <<sigh>> Again, although my goal had been to get some kind of action (Im not counting the exam yesterday) before this Sunday, prospects are grim. But there are worse things to suffer from! And I have plenty of batteries...
I went to my friends sisters wake tonight. A few hours before, she called frantic because she had dyed her hair (she has some grey) in preparation for it, but one of her plastic gloves leaked and dyed her left hand black. I picked up anything and everything from Sally Beauty Supply and she scrubbed and scrubbed, but no dice (or should I say, no dyce heh heh punny). I advised her to pull a Bob Dole and hold a pen in her hand during the service. After the wake, a bunch of us hung around, drinking melancholically, and the topic of what wed like done to our bodies once we are dead came up. Jen and I told Mindy that if she dies, we plan to break into the funeral home after she is embalmed, strip her naked, and take pictures of us molesting her to send to her psycho control-freak ex-girlfriend. Mindy said she secretly wants a Viking funeral when she dies, so we agreed to steal her body from the morgue, lay it on a raft, set it on fire, and push it down the Connecticut River. We will plan stops along the way, like the Tour de France, from Vermont to Connecticut so that tourists can wave at her charred corpse floating by. Of course, Mindy pointed out that there are locks in the river along the way, so chances are, shed become stuck in one. Damn! So much for final estate planning.
Wayne is already planning for the big Halloween party this year (68 days left!). He has hired some entertainment and is working on his costume. Last year, I had planned to go as a butterfly but was lazy and didnt make the wings in time. I ended up with a nurses costume (which I still have and am saving for other occasions
). Rather than scramble at the last minute this year, I have decided to start planning in advance. Here is one idea:
Snow White (haha the irony of me in this costume kills me)
I cancelled my weekend trip to Vegas and will be transferring the plane reservation to a future flight. A local songwriter is giving a last performance on Friday before he leaves for England, and I really want to go. Vegas will hold off until I go with the Fantastic Four in the fall.
Lastly, I got my license retaken today. With my growing-out hair, I look like a reject from the Chicago cast. I hope the tour continues, at least until this license expires. Also, dammit... I'm starting to get that feeling that I miss being in love. Somebody slap me. ....No, harder!
Lets grab the world by the scruff of the neck
And drink it down deeply: Lets love it to death
Youre not the only ship adrift on this ocean
Youre not the only one thats feeling lonesome
Youre not the only one with mixed emotions
-Rolling Stones
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
when i die i want to be shot out of a cannon.