terrakotta

After work, I waited a half hour in the blazing sun to get my car inspected for the state today. Not only was the process annoying due to the intense heat, but I had a bizarre encounter with one of the service station men, who is now on my Americas Most Sketchy list. I paid for the inspection with my debit card, which doubles as a Visa. The sketchy man handed me my receipt, but did not give my card back to me.

ME: Uh, you still have my card.
SKETCH: No I dont.
ME: Yes you do.
SKETCH: I gave it right back to you. You put it in your wallet.
ME: Oh, I did?
(I take out all the contents of my wallet and fish around. SKETCH, meanwhile, disappears out the door)

Now I am getting worried. Am I going insane? Where is my debit card? I sort through my wallet contents over and over. Union card Barnes & Noble card license an expired Quiznos coupon its nowhere to be found. I fumble through my pockets. Theres only a wadded up tissue. I stand helplessly in the shop, waiting for someone to return. Meanwhile, another guy from the station comes inside.

OTHER GUY: Okay, your cars all set.
ME: I just need my card back.
OTHER GUY: Your card?
(SKETCH reappears and walks briskly around me.)
SKETCH: So, youre all set.
ME: Uh, I still dont have my card.
SKETCH: Well, check your pockets.
ME: I did. Theres nothing in them.
SKETCH: Are you SURE? Because I gave your card back to you. I saw you put it in your wallet.
ME: Yes I am sure. (I walk over to the card machine and look around. Its nowhere on the counter, on the floor, anywhere in sight. I start to panic.)
OTHER GUY: Yeah well Ill pull your car out. (to SKETCH) Im going to start on the next one.

OTHER GUY leaves and I am alone in the room with SKETCH. Now I am getting suspicious. What the fuck? Why doesnt he check HIS pockets?

SKETCH: Uh, check over there. Maybe you dropped it by the door.

I leave my wallet on the counter and walk over to the door. Nothing. I return to the counter to see SKETCH sliding my car underneath my wallet on the counter. He lifts up my wallet when he sees me looking and starts to laugh..

SKETCH: Hahahahaha! See! I told you it was there all the time.
ME: uh, yeah. Okay. Well, thanks.

SKETCH runs around to my side of the counter and puts his hand on my upper back, which is exposed due to the type of shirt I am wearing. REALLY GROSS AND INAPPROPRIATE, SKETCH MAN. I flip away and walk quickly to the door. He laughs and laughs like Ive just told him some wicked joke that hell repeat to his pals at the bar later on that night. I am sickened, and of course, I drive away believing that he is either deranged or had been trying to swipe my card. I still wonder if he wrote down my charge number in the time that he was missing in action.

Yeah, I passed inspection. But Im now paranoid and will have to check my bank statements extra carefully from now on. Creepy bastard.


ps: I need a new picture. bonfirecollapse and I will have to get on that pronto.