teresaannamae

is it wrong that something utterly fabulous and devine, with all positive notions and good intentions has the effect of making me feel disgusted and dissapointed with myself that I didn't do all I could to be right there with them, to be all that I want to be, to take out loans, learn what i have been dreaming of all my life, aspire and act accordingly to set out to be the dream Teresa in my head?

I'm really dissapointed with myself, but I feel so trapped.
Like the time i let slip by and go to waste is being held against me, i feel like when people look at it I don't have a chance in their eyes.

I..
I. how can i emphasize I?

***I***
don't feel like i have a chance in MY own eyes.




it's never realy about anyone else, is it?
nope.
I'm living in my world and I'm thoroughly dissapointed and upset with my lack of activity .. but, certain things just hold me back..

I will survive.
I will dream.
I will plan.
I will rise above.
I will succeed.



After I write a lot more in my diary and cry a bit.


Fuck, Teresa, sometimes you're a procrastinating, time-wasting, IDIOT.

you only live once people.
you only live once, Teresa.


why aren't you making the most of it?
$$$.




cause you know i don't got the cheddah to show, so i don't got the cheddah to go go go.