I feel like I'm going to puke.
She makes me feel like shit. Worthless trash that will never amount to anything because all I do is fuck up. Constantly, I just can't stop fucking up.
She honestly brings up all my suicidal feelings. No one makes my head literally pain like she does. Pain so much I can't fucking breathe right, all I can do is gasp for air. I swear it's like she makes my brain swell with negativity, swell with hate, and fear, and every pain I ever felt as a child magnified ten fold.
Fuck this is toxic, and it's the one thing I'm addicted to. I need her approval, I need to fight for her love. I need to fake everything I am so I feel like she likes me, and then I'm happy. That's how I've conditioned myself- isn't that fucking sick??
It's fucking SICK.
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCK.
I feel like screaming and crying and smashing things, I feel like vomiting and slitting my wrists, burying myself in a hole to die.
She treats me like her mother treats her. And I bet she doesn't realise it, and nobody else does or will believe it because they've never been in a relationship with her. The think she's perfect, they think she's wonderful - and fuck, so do I.
I make myself SICK.
She makes me SICK.
I'm sorry everyone, I'm not perfect and I never will be.
But I am honest, and loving, respectful, and thoughtful- to everyone but her.
I just fake it with her. I'm sick of faking it.
Someone tell me why this is happening, please.
In your best, worldly explaination.
I want to hear what you think, your reaction- that's why I'm posting here.
I think you're intelligent and I respect and appretiate your comments ♥
---Teresa
She makes me feel like shit. Worthless trash that will never amount to anything because all I do is fuck up. Constantly, I just can't stop fucking up.
She honestly brings up all my suicidal feelings. No one makes my head literally pain like she does. Pain so much I can't fucking breathe right, all I can do is gasp for air. I swear it's like she makes my brain swell with negativity, swell with hate, and fear, and every pain I ever felt as a child magnified ten fold.
Fuck this is toxic, and it's the one thing I'm addicted to. I need her approval, I need to fight for her love. I need to fake everything I am so I feel like she likes me, and then I'm happy. That's how I've conditioned myself- isn't that fucking sick??
It's fucking SICK.
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCK.
I feel like screaming and crying and smashing things, I feel like vomiting and slitting my wrists, burying myself in a hole to die.
She treats me like her mother treats her. And I bet she doesn't realise it, and nobody else does or will believe it because they've never been in a relationship with her. The think she's perfect, they think she's wonderful - and fuck, so do I.
I make myself SICK.
She makes me SICK.
I'm sorry everyone, I'm not perfect and I never will be.
But I am honest, and loving, respectful, and thoughtful- to everyone but her.
I just fake it with her. I'm sick of faking it.
Someone tell me why this is happening, please.
In your best, worldly explaination.
I want to hear what you think, your reaction- that's why I'm posting here.
I think you're intelligent and I respect and appretiate your comments ♥
---Teresa
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
i don't know who the post above is about but it sounds like you have both changed. i find its slightly more bearable if you accept change and move on instead of fighting against it.
um...shoudn't be a nosy madam and comment on things i know nothing about..sorry
love lizi x
[Edited on Apr 29, 2004 11:33PM]
when that happen, there's not much to do but move on. suffering will pass, eventually. all we can do is know and feel we deserve better that what we 're going thru. and finally get there. and when we're there, we look back and there's no anger. just souvenirs.
tlc,