I feel like i'm wasting my life in this wasteland of a city of low prospects. I'm still totally desperate to leave gotta here to Atlanta.
I'm still searching for jobs as I watched my savings slowly amount if it's too late and without any support of guidance but myself. I believe because my Associates Degree is no good, after 3 years of graduation. The school was NO help to helping me to land a job. Also, i'm late for the Student Loan payment and I have a deferrment on it. I'm afriad I won't get a job until I go back to that school district I don't enjoyed being at anymore.
For the past days, I have a lot of things on my mind lately, I been bored and depressed because there's nothing else to do around here, all just the city is going the tubes. This year, everybody is losing their jobs at three major companies, along the Hershey Foods division, laying off 300 workers, my cousin is one of those people are scrambling for jobs. I feel bad that my mom helping me pay my small bills like my cellphone and she's very nice enough. People say i'm lucky enough to have my mom like her and I should be proud., I'm afraid that she'll get mad at me because I shouldn't have taken up Design as choice of college studies like she's been stressing me about like "Why don't take up nursing or computers?" What the hell that I supposed to do? Take up something I have no intention taking up and being unhappy the rest of my life? Also, i'm fed up with his design graduate who claims he could be able to help me land a job and brushing up my resume.
Most of all, i'm not happy with myself, what if I was pretty, more thin, creative, or smart enough to land in a design field? That's what's all about. All that excercise and stuff I been doing. I haven't had a good appetite lately because of the worrying. That's what it's What the profie says it all, it looks like i'm not cool to be around with anymore, I scared everybody away. it's because i'm not happy living in the city. All my good friends went away and went with their lives and now I mostly lost contact with all of them. I think life hates me so hard.
Last Friday, I broke down in front of my mom of what I going through, also at time, i'm dealing family issues surrounding my aunt for nearly a year which making me and my mother crazy. My aunt told me I should come and live in Atlanta next spring and she and my uncle (her husband) have a room that is waiting for me. She told me i'll could be happy there and a good job where there's more recreation and more good people to make friends with who are my level.
It's like it gets worse and i'm fed up with it. I gotta get outta here next year, it's the last resort.
I just needed to let some words out and keep updating of my process.
Please, take care of yourselves
I'm still searching for jobs as I watched my savings slowly amount if it's too late and without any support of guidance but myself. I believe because my Associates Degree is no good, after 3 years of graduation. The school was NO help to helping me to land a job. Also, i'm late for the Student Loan payment and I have a deferrment on it. I'm afriad I won't get a job until I go back to that school district I don't enjoyed being at anymore.
For the past days, I have a lot of things on my mind lately, I been bored and depressed because there's nothing else to do around here, all just the city is going the tubes. This year, everybody is losing their jobs at three major companies, along the Hershey Foods division, laying off 300 workers, my cousin is one of those people are scrambling for jobs. I feel bad that my mom helping me pay my small bills like my cellphone and she's very nice enough. People say i'm lucky enough to have my mom like her and I should be proud., I'm afraid that she'll get mad at me because I shouldn't have taken up Design as choice of college studies like she's been stressing me about like "Why don't take up nursing or computers?" What the hell that I supposed to do? Take up something I have no intention taking up and being unhappy the rest of my life? Also, i'm fed up with his design graduate who claims he could be able to help me land a job and brushing up my resume.
Most of all, i'm not happy with myself, what if I was pretty, more thin, creative, or smart enough to land in a design field? That's what's all about. All that excercise and stuff I been doing. I haven't had a good appetite lately because of the worrying. That's what it's What the profie says it all, it looks like i'm not cool to be around with anymore, I scared everybody away. it's because i'm not happy living in the city. All my good friends went away and went with their lives and now I mostly lost contact with all of them. I think life hates me so hard.
Last Friday, I broke down in front of my mom of what I going through, also at time, i'm dealing family issues surrounding my aunt for nearly a year which making me and my mother crazy. My aunt told me I should come and live in Atlanta next spring and she and my uncle (her husband) have a room that is waiting for me. She told me i'll could be happy there and a good job where there's more recreation and more good people to make friends with who are my level.
It's like it gets worse and i'm fed up with it. I gotta get outta here next year, it's the last resort.
I just needed to let some words out and keep updating of my process.
Please, take care of yourselves
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I lived with my mom which i'm embarassed to mention to everybody on the SG and I turned my friends off, people had said to my mom I need to get out of my own and I couldn't help that. I'm very close to mom, she's the one who cares and listen and i'm starting to think that i'm a burden to her while she's getting ready to retirement next year. I'm trying to do my best to move out when she retires. I do not to live with my mother until i'm 30.
I believe I suck of keeping friends who always weren't supportive. I'm supportive to all of them, it seems that they don't want to be bother. I'm just an ugly and stupid person to look at.
I believe nobody is not interested in me because i'm not what everybody expected. When I graduated from high school, I was named "The Next Steven Spielberg" because of my love of movies and writing short stories. And when they come back and still that living with my mom as a long-suffering individual, working in a school district and think i'm living in a dream of lives.
I'm known as a determined person, but my unsuccessful attempts of a good job, financial stability, and my dreams are going down the tubes if I don't leave this town. That's what I believe I suck at everything else. Mostly, I suck at how to make people happy and hard of keeping relationships. I don't like being nobody's burden and that what's people avoid me.
I know you know me as a happy going person. people don't know what i;m going through lately.
I truly hope that things turn out for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must just hang in there!!!!!!!
AND NO YOU DONT SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!