It fucking killls me everyday.
I try be strong, I try to forget him but I just cant. For 2 years, he's been one of the biggest parts of my life, constantly leaving it and coming back, loving me then being unsure. And I take him back every time, cause I'm in this fucked up thing called love. I honest to God hate it, its one of the most painful experiences I've been through. He left me again back in December, and I STILL haven't found the strength to forget him completely. I promised myself that if he did it again I'd move on, I'd forget. But I cant. I love him too much. No matter how little we speak, or how horrible he acts towards me, I still need him, and I can't get rid of the feelings I have for him.
I know one day he'll come back to me, but I hate this waiting. Not knowing. And when he does come back, he'll probably fuck with me all over again.
I HATE THIS. I hate being dependant. I hate thinking about him all the time. No matter how many gorgeous, sweet guys I see or date, I can never bring myself to care for them enough. Because of him. I FUCKING HATE HIM BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE HIM. I have no idea what to do. I just want him to be ready, to stay next time. But you can't force anything in this life, and it hurts.
Fuck. I miss him so much
The song "Something" by Escape the Fate seems to capture how I feel perfectly right now.
"So now you're running
It's hard to see clearly
When I make you angry
You're stuck in the past
And now you're screaming
So can you forgive me?
I've treated you badly
But I am still here
Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm still waiting
Sometimes I'm shaking
That's how you make me
Sometimes I question
Why I am still here
Sometimes I think I am going crazy
Can you help me understand?
And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
(someone) (something to somebody else)
You look at me through clouded eyes
I know you see through my lies
See the sky, see the stars
All of this could be ours
Out of sight, out of mind
We've been through this a thousand times
Turn your back and then you make me feel so crazy
Can you help me understand?
And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
You know I would wait forever
Yes, I would wait (I would wait)
You know I would wait forever
Yes, I would wait
And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And I'm the one that should mean something
But still you wish that you meant something to somebody else
Something to somebody else, something to somebody else"
I try be strong, I try to forget him but I just cant. For 2 years, he's been one of the biggest parts of my life, constantly leaving it and coming back, loving me then being unsure. And I take him back every time, cause I'm in this fucked up thing called love. I honest to God hate it, its one of the most painful experiences I've been through. He left me again back in December, and I STILL haven't found the strength to forget him completely. I promised myself that if he did it again I'd move on, I'd forget. But I cant. I love him too much. No matter how little we speak, or how horrible he acts towards me, I still need him, and I can't get rid of the feelings I have for him.
I know one day he'll come back to me, but I hate this waiting. Not knowing. And when he does come back, he'll probably fuck with me all over again.
I HATE THIS. I hate being dependant. I hate thinking about him all the time. No matter how many gorgeous, sweet guys I see or date, I can never bring myself to care for them enough. Because of him. I FUCKING HATE HIM BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE HIM. I have no idea what to do. I just want him to be ready, to stay next time. But you can't force anything in this life, and it hurts.
Fuck. I miss him so much
The song "Something" by Escape the Fate seems to capture how I feel perfectly right now.
"So now you're running
It's hard to see clearly
When I make you angry
You're stuck in the past
And now you're screaming
So can you forgive me?
I've treated you badly
But I am still here
Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm still waiting
Sometimes I'm shaking
That's how you make me
Sometimes I question
Why I am still here
Sometimes I think I am going crazy
Can you help me understand?
And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
(someone) (something to somebody else)
You look at me through clouded eyes
I know you see through my lies
See the sky, see the stars
All of this could be ours
Out of sight, out of mind
We've been through this a thousand times
Turn your back and then you make me feel so crazy
Can you help me understand?
And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
You know I would wait forever
Yes, I would wait (I would wait)
You know I would wait forever
Yes, I would wait
And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And I'm the one that should mean something
But still you wish that you meant something to somebody else
Something to somebody else, something to somebody else"