tehbonehead

I'm in deadwood. pretty lame. there's a lot of kitschy buildings and crap.

yesterday was interesting.

here's the "before" the trip failed pics:

the worst cup of coffee ever:
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/worst_coffee_ever.jpg
$1.89 for a 20oz cup, and it tasted like shyte.

i drove for a while, then i saw a sign for an "air training museum" or something. thought i'd check it out. they had some canadian airforce jet on display at the end of the drive. i was, like, "WTF?! canada has an airforce?!"
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/air_museum_jet.jpg

there didn't apear to be anyone there, so i left. driving thru town, i saw an old WWII vintage bomber they had on display at a motel:
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/air_museum_bomber.jpg

drove some more, still crappy weather (again?).

biggest garden tractors i've ever seen:
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/big_garden_tractors.jpg

then a ray of hope. after spotting an old AMC javelin and plymouth scamp on the side of the road, i noticed there was a sizable junkyard of cars from various eras. nearby was a building with a large sign proclaiming it as the "automotive history museum." worth a look, i thought. $5 canadian to the sexually ambiguous "pat" at the desk...

*shudder* i'll tell this story in person.

after a few hundred kilometers at relatively high speeds, i reached regina (pronounced like "vagina," i guess)

i checked my bank account, realized i only had enough $$ to make it to AK and half way back, and called off the trip.

there were a few factors in play, here. i didn't plan the trip *that* poorly. gas prices in canada jumped 10c/L (that's over 35c US per gallon), the canadian dollar rose against the us dollar to record highs (0.92:1), and i only got 13.5 mpg instead of the expected (hoped for?) 15. it would seem i was only $975 short.

i contemplated visiting a friend in calgary, called it off, and bailed for the states.

hit customs, got searched. they didn't tear the car up, but they got the scanners and sniffers out. seems my story didn't add up. good thing i was too pissed to pick up any cubans, eh?

headed thru montana, saw some weird rock formations:
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/mont_rocks.jpg

drove thru ND and SD in the dark, missing all the "Scenic Views" touted along the way.

slept in a field in SD, awoke to the glare of an angry rancher, moved on.

the weather started to clear a little,
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_hills.jpg

i got to see a pwettty wainbow,
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_rainbow.jpg

and passed the GREAT MYSTERY.
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_mystery_00.jpg

now, anything on top of a hill ,with that much fence around it (keep in mind the cattle were only held in by a 3-strand fence... you can't see it in the picture, but that fence on the top is some heavy chain link.), a road leading up to it (closed), has GOT to be cool. (at this point i'm thinking native american burial site, or site of some mass murder or something.

i approach the gate, brand-shiny-new chain and lock, another good sign.
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_mystery_01.jpg

now, realize this is only about a mile walk, uphill. i see no critters of the bovine persuasion (there were some pretty damn big bulls in the other fields), so i jump the gate and start hiking.

as i'm walking up, the already stiff wind picks up to biblical proportions (think 3rd beast apocolypic stuff), and the rain starts back up. it's DAMN cold, the grass is laying over flat on the ground, and the rain feels like little needles. oh, yeah, this is definitely a sacred place i'm about to enter. i think about the T-storms of the past 3 days, and do a quick sanity check. yes, i am indeed climbing the second highest peak in the general vicinity. *shrug*.

i reach the summit, and look back down the hill (i can see my car from here!).
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_mystery_02.jpg

this definately used to be a tourist site or something. wonder what happened? did angry spirits kill too many whiteys?

i peer thru the fence, and see some weird rock piles. cool.
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_mystery_03.jpg

finally, i walk around the fence far enough to be able to read the old sign:
http://www.burnproject.com/localuser/lazarus/ak_trip/SD_mystery_04.jpg

"SHEEPHERDER'S MONUMENTS
Sheepherder's monuments of stone Johnnies survive the days of the open range. These stone columns were probably built to indicate distance and direction to waterholes and provided the sheepherder with a pastime while tending his flocks."

GODDAMNFERTHELOVEOFFUCK!! i just hiked up the hill for that?!

yeah. i'm sure i heard laughter in the distance. i wanted to edit the sign...

"SHEEPHERDER'S MONUMENTS
Sheepherders piled up these rocks because somehow they knew that in a hundred years or so, some idiot would climb up this hill in the freezing rain to see what the deal was. SUCKAH!!"

i turned around, and began the hike down, the rain worsening as i went. i can't feel my fingers or ears, my eyes are blurry from the wind, and my camera is getting wet.

fuck.