Change of plans. I went out the last two nights and found my psyche lacking and my actions disgusting.
I came on super strong with a girl that I actually like but she was on a date with another guy and I feel like a total heel. Then, last night, a friend of mine took advantage of my lonliness and used me for her own ends... and now filthy doesn't BEGIN to describe how I feel. It really reaffirms my hunch that I should be a hermit. I only hurt others or myself when I try to connect... it is better to withdraw.
Do I just wait for that one girl to actually care? What choice do I have?
I came on super strong with a girl that I actually like but she was on a date with another guy and I feel like a total heel. Then, last night, a friend of mine took advantage of my lonliness and used me for her own ends... and now filthy doesn't BEGIN to describe how I feel. It really reaffirms my hunch that I should be a hermit. I only hurt others or myself when I try to connect... it is better to withdraw.
Do I just wait for that one girl to actually care? What choice do I have?
but you shouldn't feel dirty about it.
and yes, just keep waiting. but i recommend getting the fuck out of kenosha! you probably won't find anyone there to connect with, it's too small. even milwaukee is too small for me. it takes unique people longer to find a decent person.
and now filthy doesn't BEGIN to describe how I feel. It really reaffirms my hunch that I should be a hermit. I only hurt others or myself when I try to connect... it is better to withdraw.
agreed.. . i tried that empty route for the first time and let myself get used like 2 months ago.. never ever again will i allow myself to do that. id rather be misserably alone than hate myself for trying to make up some sick rendition that i have in my head of how life is supposed to be..
and the end part about trying to connect? yeah i tried that again last night.. awful outcome to that scene.