teh_asspope

At a cocktail party I recently attended, I had the pleasure of conversing with a charming Armadillo about the vagaries of dillo-hood. The conversation (as it generally does at these types of events) turned to work and I asked him how the body armor business was these days.

"Things are tight," he said with a practiced grin and a dramatic tap of his belly. The various tuxedoed shirt-stuffers chuckled politely at the stale pun but none so hard as the Armadillo himself. He seemed positively delighted with himself (as the wealthy tend to be) and his monocle's tether danced merrily against his face.

He sipped champagne from his flute before continuing, suddenly serious, "Business is better than it has ever been, as you might expect." The crowd shuffled uncomfortably. Decorum requires that such things aren't said in 'polite' company. Our tuxedos all felt suddenly sullied by the stark change in atmosphere.

Noticing his faux pas, he agitatedly attempted to change to topic to sunnier events but the moment was lost. Shamefully I realized how impolitic it would be of me to continue our conversation so I joined the crowd in ignoring him with a smile. More's the pity, as it is so rare that a high society Armadillo makes himself available.

I should have liked to ask him for investment advice.