teerox

All day I have been thinking of an old friend, Randy. So I thought that I would share Randy with everyone. I met Randy when we were 16. At the age of 6 he had been diagnosed with Neuro blastoma, a very aggresive form of cancer. His doctors gave him a year tops to live.

When I met Randy, he was tall and thin, almost gaunt from so much chemo. He never had more than a fine stuble of hair on any part of his body, again from the chemo. Through it all he never lost his sense of humor, not to say he didn't have bad days, like everyone. Actually his bad days were way worse than most people's. A bad day for Randy usually resulted in me getting a call at 4 am saying that the plants were talking to him. Apparently Marinol makes you hallucinate. (I smoked allot of pot, but I guess whatever kind of THC, or the concentration levels, make you hallucinate.) Or I would get a call from Randy's mom saying that he was freaking out from the pain and wouldn't take his meds. So off to his house I would go. Oh I miss him.

We were never allowed as friends to forget that he was dying. He demanded it from us all. I guess he didn't want us to be suprised when he was gone. I would like to tell him that it didn't work. I was not only suprised, I was devastated.

There was a time in my life, when I was shy and quiet, and kind of afraid of life, then I met Randy. We were sitting outside of his house, on a hill, smoking pot. (It was medicinal, for both of us, honest. His cancer, and my mental state.) It was then that Randy said the single most empowering words to me, EVER. It seems so simple now, but at the time it was life-changing. The reason I have from that day forward, tried experience everything I could from life.

Randy: Tee, why are you so afraid of everything?

Me: I dunno. I guess it's easy for you to go out and experience, life, you have to live everyday like it's your last, since it might be. I might have to live with a bad decision for a very long time.

Randy: You know, you could walk out in front of a truck and killed way before I die.

I know it seems simple, and I guess I should have figured it out on my own, but I didn't. Randy spelled it out for me. I simplified the conversation a bit, mostly because the exact words have faded from memory over time. I have never forgotten the intent of those simple, yet every so true words though. As I said, from the point on, I have lived every day like it is my last, just because it could be. I have almost never run from the opportunity to try something new, or to meet new people. There are few things that even I won't do. Yeah, I know, it's shocking.