This is something i wrote a year ago, doing a different job, traveling on the train to and from Soho and at he same time a relationship that i was really fond of went sour. I found it a few days ago, and as im never going to be a writer, i may as well get it "published" to the few of us on the site! It was probably about 2am on a school night on the last London to Brighton train of the night in the old bike carrying section:
"Standing in this old 1970's catle box of a train in the cold, looking at the dark fields shiloettes of trees running past the barred window.
I look at he stars in the semi clear night. I have a welsh indy band blaring in my ears, to block out the sound of the world, hoping to take me to another place far from here. I enjoy the lonelyness in a wierd kind of way. I feel tense if anybody walks past "my box.
London turns into countryside, i catch glimpses of mist hovering and liotering under road lights. I start to look at the stars and think of things. I think about work, money, the flat. All the modern-day things. I think about andy and sarah getting together, Finally. I think about how to make my life easier, by making everyday a biig mountain or park day (NOTE: i havent been back in the UK long since living in canada for 7 months sonowboarding). Then my mind wonders to tracey-a girl a once knew. I think about all the great times we had camping in cornwall, just driving around the amazing countryside. We became very close, very quickly. I start to think how relationships are very messed up and not really worth it as people always change. There were times i thought we would never be away from each other. Somethimes she would say i would end up hating her and at the time, it sounded very stupid. "how could it get to that i thought?" But it does. Very quickly. Not that i ever hated her, but things change very quickly, almost behind your back. It sneaks up and kicks you.
I then look back at all the things she said. How we were good for each other, how we clicked. How much we were in tune with each other. Now i never hear from her.
I slowly drift back and watch small town stations fly by. They look like they were dropped here from an oversized hobby train set. As we sit stationary in the middle of nowhere my mind goes off agian to tracey. Was it all a dream? or a joke on her behalf? The mad first few months of knowing her seem very distant now. Maybe it didnt happen, maybe she didnt feel anything. I know that i probably gained more from it all then i first thought. Maybe she quitely did me a favour?
Its now 2.30 in the morning, my bones ache as the constant cold breeze keeps chasing me around the carrigde. The furry animals keep me company with their independant beats........
THINK FAST HIPPIE!! shouts my bike from the corner of the box cart at the end of another daring escape from the city. Tomorrow the dastardly duo will do it all over again.
We both roll into brighton. I can see the houses at the side of the hill. All the trains are now asleep in the station. They need their strength for the new day ahead"
END
please excuse any spelling mistakes.
cheers all
"Standing in this old 1970's catle box of a train in the cold, looking at the dark fields shiloettes of trees running past the barred window.
I look at he stars in the semi clear night. I have a welsh indy band blaring in my ears, to block out the sound of the world, hoping to take me to another place far from here. I enjoy the lonelyness in a wierd kind of way. I feel tense if anybody walks past "my box.
London turns into countryside, i catch glimpses of mist hovering and liotering under road lights. I start to look at the stars and think of things. I think about work, money, the flat. All the modern-day things. I think about andy and sarah getting together, Finally. I think about how to make my life easier, by making everyday a biig mountain or park day (NOTE: i havent been back in the UK long since living in canada for 7 months sonowboarding). Then my mind wonders to tracey-a girl a once knew. I think about all the great times we had camping in cornwall, just driving around the amazing countryside. We became very close, very quickly. I start to think how relationships are very messed up and not really worth it as people always change. There were times i thought we would never be away from each other. Somethimes she would say i would end up hating her and at the time, it sounded very stupid. "how could it get to that i thought?" But it does. Very quickly. Not that i ever hated her, but things change very quickly, almost behind your back. It sneaks up and kicks you.
I then look back at all the things she said. How we were good for each other, how we clicked. How much we were in tune with each other. Now i never hear from her.
I slowly drift back and watch small town stations fly by. They look like they were dropped here from an oversized hobby train set. As we sit stationary in the middle of nowhere my mind goes off agian to tracey. Was it all a dream? or a joke on her behalf? The mad first few months of knowing her seem very distant now. Maybe it didnt happen, maybe she didnt feel anything. I know that i probably gained more from it all then i first thought. Maybe she quitely did me a favour?
Its now 2.30 in the morning, my bones ache as the constant cold breeze keeps chasing me around the carrigde. The furry animals keep me company with their independant beats........
THINK FAST HIPPIE!! shouts my bike from the corner of the box cart at the end of another daring escape from the city. Tomorrow the dastardly duo will do it all over again.
We both roll into brighton. I can see the houses at the side of the hill. All the trains are now asleep in the station. They need their strength for the new day ahead"
END
please excuse any spelling mistakes.
cheers all