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tedbedlam

Member Since 2005

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Thursday Nov 05, 2009

Nov 4, 2009
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For almost 24 hours now, a pain in my side. Like a swallowed needle or chewed glass, this pain in my side. When I breathe in I can feel it grind like a rock on the inside of my ribs.

I am feeling better from yesterday though. I do not think it is cancer.

Went for a hike today with Curt, discussed his plans on the cartoon. He is having an artists block at the moment. Perhaps laziness. Likely both. In the coming days I will hopeful persuade him to get off his ass. If not, it wa an unfortunate script to waste.

After, I spent time resting my insides as I thought the activity hiking would cure me my stigmata but no. Sat with the mother and drunken father as they ate dinner trying not to be offended when he asks the same question a fourth time, forgetting himself and my answers.

Short trip to Lizz/Robby's, videogames and weed. Longer trip to Ariel's. I need to figure things out with her before I am rendered unsalvagable with "feelings". I don't think she knows quite where she is in relation to the rest of the world. Or maybe I just like her a lot and am projecting my own personality upon her. I am pretty sure she's smarter than me after all.

Graduate school is on my mind. Inevitable debt with some possible reward.

PROS:
Access to film equipment, film people, film community
Access to internships requiring university attendance
Final creation of viable portfolio
Opportunities for easier learning of film technology
Eventual graduation with MFA and possibility of teaching jobs afterwards
No longer working a min wage job long term with no possibility of advancement
Girls will be there. Maybe one who can tolerate me.
Cheaper drinks
Possibility of jobs filming concerts, interviews, etc.
Low-rent apartment


CONS
Debt - $40,000 estimated
Time - 3 years of industry practice unavailable
3 more years in GA
Working a min wage job short term with no possibility of advancement
No weed connection
No social connections
No-rent home life disappears



Seems fairly balanced in favor but those debts and years weigh pretty heavy. I am tired and unable to sleep. Someday I will accomplish something of my life. The key, as always, is to survive.

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