ted_stryker

I am not doing so well right now. I'm getting more and more depressed and turning more and more inwards. This has a lot to do with me separation from MrsTed_stryker but it is also my natural reaction to the distance and separation from the world and the isolation in which I find myself. I am naturally a fun easy going guy, I can't count how many times I've walk into a party and heard "Finally he's here, now the party can start". But those are different times and I was a different person, so to speak. It is my natural defense mechanism to shut myself away from everyone and everything when I feel this way. When I first got to Germany and spent my First Christmas and New Years alone (Literally, I sat in my barracks room alone and drunk since I had only been in country a week and didn't know anybody) I turned away. It's easier to live when not confronted with what makes you not want to anymore.



If it wasn't for my nightly visits with the woman of my dreams I would loose it all together.

I don't want to be apart of this world.

Everything is pissing me off.

I want everyone to leave me alone.

I don't want to be alone anymore.

I just want my Mrs. Stryker alone forever.