tecumseh1981

Well I am leaving for Bloomington Normal today. Well I hope to. I just have to get my shit downtown and get to the Greyhound station. Once there I pick up my ticket and then I should be in Bloomington by 2:30 or so.

Anyways I gave Jenny a St. Therese medal, and a book on St. Therese. That is her confirmation name. I wanted to tell her so much and pour my heart out but I was at a loss for words. She makes me feel special and I only wish that I could make her feel the same. I am always afraid of rejection and I must confess that this fear of rejection is boiling inside of me. I am terrified that she will go back to her ex and leave me in the dust.

I really wish she would come with me to school and leave this all behind. Its much easier said then done but I still cant help but feel like this. She deserves the world and I am afraid that I wont be able to give it to her. This is because I have such low self esteem right now. I am so tired of being lonely and hurting all the time. I often feel as though I am born to suffer. When I am with here I feel different about life. She really brings out the best in me. I smile more, and I laugh. I feel like seeing the next day. Life just doesnt seem so down I guess. I am tired of being so down in the dumps and I feel that she can help bring my spirits up.

As it stands I am going to go pack my bags. I dont have much to pack. I just need to find a ride to the station.

I got to stop watching Blade Runner. Its such a good movie.

Cheers.

Tecumseh