teclo

On the phone with my mother this morning.
"[Sister] is between a 6 and an 8" she said, referring to my sister's pants size, "I'm between an 8 and a 10!"
"Oh?" I ask, spreading peanut butter on bread.
"How are you doing with that?" She asked.
"Huh, oh I'm at a ..."
"You said you'd gotten down to a 12 and I think that's just great."
"I'm at a 14." I said, a little hurt, "I mean, I can wear a 12 in skirts and dresses and some pants, but I would rather wear a 14 because they're more comfortable, looser, and make me feel thinner."
"Well, I just know you'd been working on that, so I thought .."
"All the Yoga I've been practicing, Mom, has left me with super muscular legs, and ... well," I said, "Baby got back."
"Excuse me?"
"Baby got back," I said.
"Huh?"
"Well, Yoga's basically given me an amazing, round, tight, strong [You can crack wallnuts with your asscheeks - came the boyfriend's cry from the front room] butt"
"Oh."

So, not only is my mother a numbers zombie, she's not hip. Oh well.